My mom has this dog and I call him, Asshole.

Well not all the time, sometimes I call him worse.

Hear me out.

My mother never wanted a dog. When Hubby and I rented from her, I told her I wanted a dog and she said, “No.”

I got Sampson anyway, because that’s just how I roll.

Crate training was new to us and since mom was retired I asked her if she’d mind letting Sampson out in the middle of the day for a potty break.

She said no.

Then she did it anyway, because that’s how she rolls.

The first day I left Sampson home, mom called me at work and asked “How do you open this crate?”

Turns out she thought about how horrible it would be holding your pee for nine hours a day.

It didn’t take long until Sampson was getting a mid-day potty break and then was waiting for me outside when I came home from work. Rumor has it he even had a few little walks while I was gone.

When I saw how much my mom enjoyed interacting with Sampson I suggested she get a small dog of her own.

She said no.

And yet somehow, she has a dog.

Yes, she has a dog that lies on her bed or at her feet most of the day. But here’s the kicker.

She doesn’t feed the dog.

She doesn’t walk the dog.

She doesn’t take the dog outside to potty.

She doesn’t take the dog to the vet.

I feed the dog and right after he eats, he heads down to lie on her bed.

You’re at work all day, what do you care?

I walk the dog and as soon as we get back, he goes down to her apartment to drink from the water bowl she has for him.

I let the dog in and out of the house so he can do his business.

I take the dog to the vet and pay the vet bills.

I guess you can say she has the best of both worlds. All the love and joy of having a dog, just none of the obligations.

So yeah, my mom has a dog and I call him Asshole.