After I left the house for work I thought, oh crap the garbage is full (and stinky) and I forgot to put the chair in front of the cabinet.  She’s going to go in the garbage.

Oddly Hubby and I arrived home at the same time, let me go in first I said, I’m pretty sure she’s been in the garbage.

There was stuff all over the living room floor alright, but it wasn’t from the garbage.  She’d found a box of Bisquick and eaten what was left of the contents.  Best guess?  2 cups of Bisquick.

I called the vet (I swear, they must cringe when the caller ID shows my name) they didn’t seem to think it was anything to worry about but she might have a little gastro distress.

Well that was an understatement.

The smell in the car on the way to our walk was disgusting.  Something smells like shit Hubby said.

Another understatement.  I wish she’d gotten into the syrup maybe then it would have smelled like pancakes.

On our walk she was eating grass, good she’ll puke and the smell will go away.

She didn’t.  It didn’t.

Bedtime rolls around.

About 12:30 I feel this thump on the mattress next to my body, blearily I open my eyes and see Sampson staring at me,  I stumble to the door and both dogs go outside.

I wait five minutes and check on them, here comes Delilah but Sampson is just lying on the deck. I coax him in and we go back to bed.

Three more times I’m awakened by Sampson thumping his head on the mattress. I finally thought maybe he’s hot, I got up and opened the bedroom door, crawled back into bed.  Delilah growls as my foot slides past her.

At 2:30 the thump comes again.  I’m tired and I’m pissed.  I grab my pillow and a blanket and head out to the living room.  I notice there’s no water in the dog’s bowl so I fill it up.  Sampson takes a drink.

I throw my blanket down on the floor and turn to grab the pillow and Sampson lies on the blanket.  I grab another blanket, wrap myself in it and lay down next to him.   With one hand under his head and one on his belly we finally fall asleep.

This photo was recreated for the purpose of this post.

About 4:30 he gets up and goes to lay on the couch.  I grab my pillow and head back to bed only to find my spot taken by Stinky.  I coax her a bit and she stretches out, head facing the foot of the bed.  I slide in and she growls again.

Whatever, I’m dead tired and I need some sleep.I close my eyes and feel a pulse against my leg, then another and another, what’s that my sleep deprived mind asks?

And then I smell it.

I open my eyes and realize her ass is about a foot and a half from my face. I think, Cripes, she’s farting against my leg and I’m breathing in her ass gas.  I’m probably burning my lungs out.

I grab my pillow and back to the living room and curl up on the couch.

This photo was recreated for the purpose of this post.

Which is where Hubby found me when he got up at 6:00 am.
This is the Monday Mischief Blog hop hosted by Alfie’s Blog, Snoopy’s Dog Blog and My Brown Newfies.