A couple years back I did a few posts about thoughts on a walk. To be clear, these were my thoughts as well as Sampson’s and Delilah’s. (Thoughts from a Walk, More Thoughts from a Walk, Thoughts from a Winter Walk, Still More Thoughts From a Walk, for anyone who’s interested in reading them.)
The majority of our walks, it’s just me and the dogs, and lately I’ve found myself saying things out loud. Like I’m not even thinking about it and my mouth opens up and BAM there it is! If anyone heard me, they might think I was talking to a person. But I’m not. It’s just me. And my dogs.
I have to warn you, I cuss. A Lot. And I’m not P.C. I’m not that nice lady you think, “Oh how sweet, look at her walking her dogs.”
No. I’m the lady that says, “Why are you such an asshole? Stop that right now. You’re a jackass.”
Anywhoo, one day last week I was struck with the inspiration to share the things I’ve said. But since my inspiration came near the end of our walk, I had to think back.
Are you ready?
- What the fuck? – This was because we step into the park and about fifteen feet from the dog poop station…you guessed it, there’s a pile of shit. WTF people? How hard is it to pick that shit up?
- Thank God for trees – As I grabbed a small tree to keep myself from falling, after the dogs dragged me down a small leaf strewn hill.
- I guess I better pick that up – Yeah, I siriusly contemplated not picking up the poop that Delilah left slightly off trail. But in the end, I did it.
- Come on guys. It’s my walk too. – I’ve got two yankers on my hands. Mostly they’re pretty good, but sometimes they both pull at the same time and it’s tough on my arms.
- Really? That really happened? Why does this really happen? – As Delilah went one way and Sampson the other…around a tree.
- Good aim buddy – As Sampson manages to kick a bunch of damp, heavy leaves over the poop I’m trying to pick up.
- Stop! Just Stop! – Delilah had the leash wrapped around her and I was trying to straighten it out…and she just kept walking.
- You can only go as far as my arm goes – As both dogs strain to sniff at something off the beaten path.
- Good job Buddy – A large tree has fallen over the path in the entrance and while Delilah jumps it easily, I thought Sampson might just walk over it, but he didn’t. He jumped!
- Just walk Delilah! – Yeah, Delilah heard me say “Good Job” and she thought she was due a treat. So she kept slowing down and staring up in the hopes that I would cave.
- Judas Priest! Come on! – Sometimes they are the pokiest dogs on the planet and we have to stop every five steps to sniff and it feels like I just can’t make any forward profess.
- Really? – As Delilah wraps herself around me yet again.
Do you talk aloud when you’re walking your dog? What kind of things come out of YOUR mouth?
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