A few years back country singer Tracy Byrd had a song called “Drinkin’ Bone.”

For the record, it’s a catchy tune so if you happen to google the song and it gets stuck in your head, don’t blame me.  Cause’ I reckon most of you have never heard this song before so the odds of you getting ear worm are pretty slim.

Anywhoo, the lyrics go like this:
The drinkin’ bone’s connected to the party bone
The party bone’s connected to the stayin’ out all night long
And she won’t think it’s funny
And I’ll wind up all alone
And the lonely bone’s connected to the drinkin’ bone

Today I want to go on the record and say, my drinkin’ bone’s connected to the Sampson Stone.

First off, we are a week into the full ACL tear and Sampson has adjusted to getting around on three legs.  He still waits as long as he possibly can to pee and poop,  but lately he’s decided that a three-legged dog can do anything his four-legged sister can do.

I’ve taken to having him wear his collar and tags in the house when we are home.  This serves three purposes.  1)  It allows us to quickly hook him up to his leash to take him outside.  2) It gives us something to grab if he decides he’s wonder dog.  3) The tags jingle which helps keep tabs on what he’s up to.

Holy Woof-a-geddon, this dog is driving me to drink.  By the time this ACL surgery and rehab is over,  I’ll be in a different type of rehab.   It’s like a drinking game for dog parents, every time Sampson does something he shouldn’t be doing, or I start worrying about the procedure,  I take a drink.  Thank goodness I have a ‘go-to’ alcohol no matter what time of day it is.

For instance Monday morning when Sampson came galloping into the bedroom, I knew he was intending on jumping on the bed.  I sat strait up and screamed, “NO” just as he launched himself onto the bed.

The next words out of my mouth were, “Bring me the Carolans.”  Thank goodness my co-worker just made a trip to New Hampshire and brought me back this large bottle.  It should get me through next week.

My vet called me Monday afternoon to check and see how we were doing.  I turned into a blubbering mess.   Will he be scared sitting in a crate?  He’s never stayed at overnight at the vets before.  I’m comfortable with your practice, but I don’t know these people, what if they have a bad person working there?    I ended up crying on the phone.

Thankfully Sangria is the perfect afternoon drink.

After I gathered my wits about me, I called my vet’s office and asked for her voice-mail.  I wanted to apologize for my earlier freak out.  That didn’t turn out so well.  I ended up crying again.

A nice glass of vodka on the rocks is perfect for sipping in the late afternoon.

Monday night I went downstairs to visit my mom while Hubby worked on getting a fire started in the fireplace.  When I came back upstairs Sampson was on the couch! How did he get there? I asked.

Hubby turned, puzzled and stared at the couch, then back at me.  “I don’t know, I was working on the fire” he muttered.

I rolled my eyes, “Would you like to join me in a shot of Tequila?” I asked.

The phone rang, it was my vet assuring me I had nothing to apologize for.  Our dogs are like family members and it’s natural for us to be upset and worried in situations such as these.

After a lovely ten minute chat we hung up with her advising me to have a beer.

Yesterday I pulled on my big girl panties and called the specialist. (For the record, the receptionist was wonderful, she and I laughed quite a bit throughout this conversation.)

Me: I’m very anxious about this surgery.

Receptionist: You have an amazing surgeon.

Me: Yes I know, but it’s not him I’m worried about.  I have a few questions.

Q: Is Sampson going to be alone in a kennel?  He’s used to our vet staff and I know the staff goes back and loves on him all day long. He’s a very social dog, he loves people.

A:  There will be someone with Sampson all day long, he will get plenty of attention.

Q: I understand he’s going to be shaved and catheterized, will he be sedated while that’s being done?

A: Oh yes, he will be sedated for that.

Q: I’m worried that he’ll be scared sitting in a crate all day.  Can I bring something of mine to stay with him?  I have to drop him off in the morning and his surgery isn’t until the afternoon.

A: Oh no, his surgery is scheduled for the morning (around 9:00) he will be up and moving about at least a couple of times that day.  He will go outside to potty.  And yes, you can certainly bring something in to keep in his kennel.

Q: Will you call me after the surgery?

A: The Dr. will call you after the surgery.

Q: How’s your kennel staff?  Are they nice?  Competent?

A: The kennel staff is wonderful.  You can call at anytime up until 7:45 pm to check on him.

Me: I’m sorry, it’s me.  I’m a nervous mom.  I’m the one that needs to be sedated.  Actually, this dog is driving me to drink, in fact I’m drinking now.

YO, someone, anyone!   I’m gonna need another bottle of wine over here!