If you have dogs, odds are at some point you’ll be required to obtain a urine sample from your dog. Do you wonder how to do that?

I mean it’s not like you can hand your dog a cup and ask them to pee in it. And try and slip that specimen cup in the land down under and you could come up with a wet hand or even worse.

Well guess what?

Urine luck, (see what I did there?)

Today I’m going to give you a simple, $2 solution which will make getting that urine sample super simple.

The first time I was told to bring in a urine sample for Delilah, I asked, “How am I supposed to do that?”

I was told to use a disposable pie pan and slip it under her when she squatted down to pee.

Right.

That was a fucking challenge. Delilah didn’t take too kindly to me following around behind her and trying to slip a pan under her ass. Eventually I somehow must have prevailed but knew there had to be a better way.

I can’t remember where I first heard about the urine ladle (I think it was Jen at My Brown Newfies,) and let me tell you, it’s been a life saver!

At first I used this little tiny ladle that I scarfed up from some catered event.

The problem with this is, it’s little and tiny. Not only is the scoop part of the ladle tiny, but the handle is short as well, which means you are bending down really close to your dog’s business to get that sample.

A couple of months ago, I went to the Dollar Store and picked up a ladle along with a package of four containers.

I put these in a bag called Dog Specimen Collection kit and I put it in one of my kitchen cabinets.

The great thing about this full-size ladle is the ‘bowl’ of the spoon can hold quite a bit of urine and the long handle lets you just dip down, catch the pee and move along.

It works like a dream with Delilah. Even if the bottom of the ‘bowl’ touches the ground, you are not cross-contaminating the urine.

Last week I needed to get a sample from Sampson in order for the vet to check it.

Some of you with male dogs will know this, and this might be a news flash to others. But not all male dogs lift their legs to pee.

Some male dogs lift, some squat and then there are the ones who are bi-urinators. (I know Jen made that shit up, but you have to admit, it’s funny.)

Sampson is a bi-urinator. I’m never sure if he will squat or lift.

And that’s where the beauty of the ladle comes in. Here’s how it works.

I take a container and remove the cover and slip the cover and container inside my jacket pocket. I hold the ladle in one hand and the leash in the other.

We walk outside and when the dog squats or lifts, like a pee Ninja, I slide the ladle into the urine stream. Once I’ve got enough in the ‘bowl’ of the ladle, I have the dog wait while I take out the container and transfer the urine from the ladle to the container. Once you’ve done that you can even toss the ladle on the ground while you get the cover on the container.

I then shake the ladle off and carry it back into the house. Word to the wise, watch where you shake that thing if it’s windy, and make sure it’s not too close to your body, or your face. Another piece of advice, don’t spit into the wind.

I rinse it off in the sink, then let it sit there. When I’ve finished all the dishes, I take a paper towel, dip it in the dish washing solution and wash and rinse the ladle. I set it to dry on a separate piece of paper towel and once it has dried, I put it back inside the bag, until it’s needed again.

Once you’ve procured your dog’s urine, you will need to store it until you can get it to the vet’s office, because you know, they want that first specimen of the morning, but the vet’s office is rarely open that early.

The first thing to do is to take a plastic bag and label it with a Sharpie. I suggest putting the dog’s name, and the time you took the sample.

Then I take a paper towel, wrap it around the container and place it in the refrigerator until I’m ready to go.

Take my advice, don’t tip this shit over or you’ll have a real mess on your hands, because the lids on these containers are tight, but they definitely are not spill proof.

And THAT my friends is how to get a urine sample from your dog. Male or female, squatter or lifter, single or bi-urinator.

Ladle = $1

4 little containers = $1

Not having to stick your face in your dog’s junk = priceless.