Hey, I’m testing my older readers here. Do you remember that old ABC sports saying? “Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sports… the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat… ”
No doubt if you read this blog, you’ve read your share of our agony of defeat. Besides failing to learn to turn on/off a light switch, you may remember the post where we failed miserably trying to get past two dogs on our walk.
Hey! You’re not the only one getting up 15 minutes early.
Ever since that humiliating day, I’ve gotten up 15 minutes earlier during the week in an attempt to avoid a similar situation.
Until Sunday morning, this meant we were walking in the dark.
To set the scene…I dress appropriately for the weather, attach my treat bag (that has room for unused poop bags), grab my camera (why I don’t know because it’s dark out), my pepper blaster and my cell phone. I throw on my reflective vest and a ball cap that has a light on the visor.
The dogs are wearing harnesses and the reflective collars they wear have little lights attached to them. Yeah, you can see us coming. LOL
Up until last Friday, we hadn’t encountered a single dog.
So I’m just about to the same spot where the chariot-less chariot incident took place and I see what looks to be a flashlight shining at me. The road I’m on is intersected by my street so it’s some distance away but across from me.
Gif courtesy of Giphy.com source Reddit
I stare trying to determine if it’s someone walking or I’m just catching a streetlight in just the right way but I keep walking.
At some point I realize it is in fact someone walking and upon closer inspection I realize it’s the lady that keeps her two little yappie dogs on retractable leashes. Now listen, I’m not a fan of retractable leashes, and this lady totally exemplifies WHY I don’t like them. She never reins her dogs in, she just lets them zigzag all over the road barking their fool heads off.
Shit.
So I stop the dogs, and double clip their harnesses. Up until now I’ve only had them clipped on the back, but I reach down and clip them both on the front as well, so they are each on 3 foot (estimate) leashes.
Sampson is on my left side and Delilah is on my right, which is absolutely perfect, because believe it or not, in this situation the D-Dog IS the better behaved dog.
I reached down into my treat bag and pulled out a hunk of beef lung. What I really love about the big pieces of lung is I have to break them up and in the process of doing this, both my dogs are riveted upon me. But I don’t start breaking it up just yet, instead I cup the lung in my hand and shove my hand right in front of Delilah’s face.
In my high-pitched-you’d-think-I-was-talking-to-a-baby voice I say, “Watch me puppies! Follow me puppies” and I start walking as fast as I can to the corner. I don’t look at what the other woman is doing I just focus on talking to the dogs and putting one foot in front of the other without tripping because both dogs are as excited as hell.
I whip around the corner and am now on my street. Delilah is frantically licking at the lung in my hand, while Sampson keeps looking behind him trying to see the other dogs in the dark.
BUT we had already turned the corner before he started to resist so I switched hands and shoved the lung into HIS face and in a matter of seconds the threat was past.
I gave Sampson the whole chunk of lung and pulled another one out my bag for the D-Dog, because really, she was star. If she’d been behaving like Sampson, I would once again be sharing the agony of defeat instead of the thrill of victory.
She’s the star? You’re saying, SHE’s the star? Look at how nicely I’m walking.
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