There’s a song title, “My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys”. Personally, my heroes have always been soldiers. 19 months ago, my youngest daughter started basic training in the United States Army. She was a hero to me long before that.
I ask you to forgive me for deviating from my traditional blog today and instead allow me to honor my beautiful, strong, brave, and smart daughter.
These past few days, I’ve been updating you as to what has been going on in our lives in the wake of Winter Storm Alfred.
I’ve kept you posted as to how we are surviving without electricity, and how we are making the best of how Alfred has affected us.
What I haven’t shared is how emotional this week has been for me. You see, Tuesday we were supposed to fly out to Monterey, California and watch our youngest daughter graduate with honors from the Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center. The ceremony was today. Due to the snowstorm and the subsequent loss of power, we had to cancel our trip in order to stay home and take care of our home and dogs.
We’ve had a rocky relationship, Cassie and I. It hasn’t always been easy, in fact most of her childhood was hard.
Most of the reason our relationship was hard was because I didn’t have the vision to look outside the box, and acknowledge that all children are not the same, that we all have our own wants and needs.
I reacted to and raised her based upon my own childhood demons, not having the capabilities to see that what I wanted, no needed as a child wasn’t necessarily what she wanted or needed growing up.
I made mistakes, boy did I make mistakes. I did things raising my girl that I am not proud of.
We reached a point in our relationship where she needed to be on her own, to learn and grow without the shadow of her parents looming over her. We became estranged for a period of time, but then slowly we found our way back to one another.
We’ve developed an adult relationship these last eight years–one that I’ve learned to treasure.
Oh, but I yearn to go back in time and change things, rectify the mistakes I made, but if there is one thing I have learned from this woman I call daughter, it’s this: The experiences and life lessons, no matter how harsh, shape us into the human beings we are today. If we are proud of who we are, then we can have no regrets in life. This is the lesson Cassie has taught me.
I’ve tried to talk to her about my failings as a parent, and her response is, “Whatever happened in the past is what makes me who I am today. When you tell me you are sorry it makes me feel like you aren’t proud of me.”
Did I mention my daughter is wise–wise beyond her young 25 years?
And that I am proud. So very proud of who she is and what she has become.
Today our daughter received an award, one of only three awards given in her class.
Due to Winter Storm Alfred, we had to cancel our trip and miss this very important day in our daughter’s life.
Living without electricity and all the little amenities we take for granted on a daily basis has been inconvenient, but it is something I can live with. I’m having a harder time with missing this important event.
So to my daughter, I am so very proud of you and all you have accomplished and I love you with all my heart.
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