Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

The Lab-ra-language

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Dogs remind me a lot of babies.  I mean, with a baby it cries and then you have to figure out if a diaper needs to be changed, the baby needs to be fed, the baby is tired or something else.

Dogs have similar needs.  For mine, they want food, affection, a walk, outside to potty and sometimes they just want to play.

Do you know your dog’s language?  My dogs have their own unique ways of communicating their needs.

Sampson’s Language.

When he wants to eat, he lies right in front of his food bowl and patiently waits.

When he wants affection he will come sit in front of you and either lay his head on your lap/leg or paw at you with his big beefy paw.  Or sometimes he will just lie on his back in front of you with a big shit eating grin on his face.  It’s a sure fire way to get one of us off the couch and down on the floor to do his bidding.

Rub my belly, please.

Rub my belly, please.

When he wants to outside he barks at the door.

When he wants to play, he brings you a toy, sets it down, stares at it and growls at you.

When he wants to walk, his tail goes up and he heads for the front door.

Delilah’s Language

When Delilah wants to eat, she employs the Lab Death Stare (not to be confused with the Death Star, that’s a totally different movie.) She sits in front of you and stares at you, as if that simple act can motivate you to do her bidding.  If the Death Stare fails to motivate you, she will often times use the sigh for great effect.  Stare down, “Hhhhhhhhh.”  On the rare occasion we eat before the dogs, she will often lie on her mat and whine slightly.  Not horribly and annoyingly, just enough to remind you she is ‘patiently’ awaiting her own meal.

You finally learned the Lab-ra-language. Your mother must be so proud. It only took you 7 1/2 years.

You finally learned the Lab-ra-language. Your mother must be so proud. It only took you 7 1/2 years.

If you move, she will jump up and race you to the kitchen, regardless of whether it’s feeding time or not.

When she wants affection, she will come and shove her head under your hand or between your legs.  Or she will just climb up into your lap.  She has also learned the lie on your back with your feet in the air trick from Sampson.

When Delilah wants to go outside, she stands at the door and makes a little “Unnh” or growl sound.  (Hubby will often be sitting less than 10 feet away and miss this.)  Once she’s been out however and wants to come back in, she will bark incessantly at the door until you open it.  If you are in the kitchen preparing her meals, it’s even more intense.

When Delilah wants to play, she will bring you a toy and drop it for you to throw.

When it is time for a walk, she can barely hold still for you to put her collar and harness on and once you head for the door she will launch herself off the steps towards the door.

Two labs, two different languages.  It’s sort of like how Canada has English  and French.  One country, two languages. 

 Do your pets have their own language?  How do they convey their needs to you?

 

 

The Grimm Business of Poopies

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I'm sorry for what you're about to read, the woman really has no class.

I’m sorry for what you’re about to read, the woman really has no class.

Long time readers will know I have a thing for potty humor.  Honestly, some of my best posts and subsequent comments come when I write a post about dog poop.  I have no idea where this comes from. I just know that me and a friend of mine, find an awful lot of humor discussing poop.

A long time ago we found the Ultimate Poopie list.  We got a lot of laughs from that list.  

When you walk dogs you pick up poop.  When you pick up poop (or watch your dog poop) you think of things.  Things like the Ultimate Poopie list.  Somehow this weekend while I was walking the dogs and thinking about this, I started thinking about a poopie list for dogs.  Then somehow, I got side-tracked with Fairy Tales and before you know it, I came up with Grimms Brothers type poopie list for dogs.  Special thanks to my friend One Person’s View for the awesome title.

So without further ado here is my Grimm Poopie list for dogs. This one’s for you David!

  • The Rapunzel (a.k.a. Where did that long hair come from?) The poopie that looks like it’s trying to climb down from a tower, but just can’t manage it.  (Sometimes you gotta help a puppy out.)
  • The Aladdin – You wish you had a Genie to make the big, smelly poopie disappear.
  • The Little Red Riding Hood – This happens when you’re staring at your dog’s bung hole and that little red eyelid thing shows up, freaking you out and causing you to frantically text your vet tech friends and in a blind panic, you call your vet hyperventilating thinking there is something wrong.
  • The Hansel and Gretel – Because some dogs walk while they’re doing their business and effectively leave a trail indicating where they’ve been.
  • The Rumpelstiltskin – Siriusly, the boxer down the street told them there was a way to turn tennis ball fuzz into gold.
  • The Pinocchio (a.k.a. poop doesn’t lie) – I swear mom, I did not eat your (insert item here).  The proof  (as they say) is in the pudding…in a manner of speaking.
  • The Little Engine that Could – Sometimes it just takes time.
  • The Dog Who Cried Wolf – I really did have to go, it’s just I saw a squirrel and got distracted.
  • The Ugly Duckling – No explanation required.

Not fairy tales, but certainly classics.

  • The Wizard of Oz – the poopie is so big and smelly you’ll wish you weren’t in Kansas anymore.
  • Alice in Wonderland – You wonder how a dog that small can make a poopie THAT big, or how a dog that BIG can have such a small poopie.

Of course some poopies are just like children’s games – Hide ‘N Go Seek – You know the dog poopied, you saw the dog poopie, you just have to go and find it.

Ollie, Ollie Oxen Free.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I told you she had no class.

 

Observations in Dog Walking

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Let’s face it, I spend a lot of time walking dogs.  Between our early morning walk and two walks in the afternoon, it’s probably close to an hour and a half each day.  I do a lot of thinking on my walks, which is where many of my blog posts come from.

Lately I’ve been thinking about all the things I’ve learned/observed walking dogs.  Things like:

  • Your dog will pass by five houses where no-one is home or outside, but when it comes time for them to take their dump, they’re going in the yard of someone who’s outside watering their plants or someone who is just coming home.
  • Your dog decides the road is good place to crap, just as a car comes along
This seems like as good a place as any.

This seems like as good a place as any.

  • If the yard is sparse, the dog will kick dried grass and dirt to cover their business, BUT if the lawn is nice and lush, large chunks of grass will go flying past your face as you bend down to pick it up. 
  • Your dog will take the biggest dump on the day you grabbed the poop bag with the hole in it.
  • No matter how diligently you watch for other animals, at some point a dog will surprise you by coming from seemingly no-where and charging at you from their e-fenced yard, causing you to crap your pants.
  • There will be cats who totally do not care that you have two large dogs.
I've heard they taste like chicken.

I’ve heard they taste like chicken.

  • Every day you will pass by newspaper boxes full of newspapers nestled in plastic bags.  Until the day you forget your poop bag at home.  That day, you will hustle your dog along home, praying you can get there before they poop.
  • The day you forget your camera, you will cross the path of fox, deer, rabbits and all kinds of wildlife.

Have I forgotten anything?  What kind of things have you observed on your walks?

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