Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

There Are Times

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Sometimes walking my two wing-nuts is very stressful.  What should be a relaxing, enjoyable walk looks more like a three-ring circus and I come home feeling more tense then when we started.

Labs-in-snow

Stop your griping, you don’t see us barking about this weather.

Sampson thinks he’s the dog ambassador to every person he sees.  And he watches for them.  He can spot someone four houses away and then he gets a pep in his step and starts pulling like a sled dog.

Then there’s Delilah who is on the hunt for a crumb of anything she construes as food.  She would drag me through a snowbank if she could score a flake of tuna.

We are working on both these issues while walking, along with walking past other dogs.  Using food to help the dogs make the choices I want them to, comes with its own set of problems.

Remember that three-ring circus I mentioned?

I reach into my treat pouch and Delilah rushes over and tries to grab the treat as I’m pulling it out.  Sampson moves to get out of her way and a car is coming.  I’m trying to get the treat out of my treat bag, Delilah’s trying to get the treat, Sampson’s trying to get away from Delilah, a car is coming and I’m trying to get Sampson between the snowbank and me.

In between all this, there is usually a leash passed behind my back and yet, somehow someone always ends up with their leash stuck underneath someone else.

Sigh.

BUT then there are times where the walk is so enjoyable just because of something one of the dogs does, that it erases all that crazy.

Saturday afternoon it started snowing and it continued until yesterday afternoon.  All told we probably got another six to eight inches to add to the 3 1/2 feet already on the ground.  With the snowbanks on either side of the ride, it’s almost like walking in a tunnel.

A wind tunnel.

Yesterday afternoon about half way through our walk, the wind kicked up and starting blowing….leaves.  Don’t ask.  I have no idea where leaves could possibly come from considering all the snow we have.

Maybe someone female squirrel got pissed off because her mate didn’t clean off the nest and threw a few leaves (and his sorry ass) out into the snow, I don’t know.  All I know is all of a sudden there are leaves.

Leaves in snow

Do you see anywhere these leaves could have come from?

Leaves, blowing up the street.  I could see they were leaves, but Delilah could not.  All she could see was something on the ground moving very quickly.

Her body tensed, her head lifted and her ears perked.  She started moving a little faster, so I moved with her.

Lab sees blowing leaves

Wait. What is that?

These are the times when I wish I had strapped the Hubby’s Go Pro Camera to my chest.  The faster I moved, the faster she moved.  Sampson sensing her excitement increased his pace.

The leaf kept blowing, Delilah and Sampson kept chasing, but I couldn’t keep up.  Delilah was bucking like a bronco, and I was a laughing so hard, I almost fell down.

 Yes, there are times, times when they frustrate me beyond belief, but then there are other times (most of the time) when they bring so much joy and laughter into my life.

Have you ever laughed really hard at something your dog did?  I’d love to hear about it.

I Should Have Named Her

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When Sampson was born to a litter of ten puppies, we seriously considered taking two, a male and a female.

Sampson Stone, three weeks old.

Can you just imagine this cuteness times 2?

We talked about all the cute names we could choose, “Jack and Jill,” “Bonnie and Clyde” and of course “Sampson and Delilah.”

As it turns out we only took Sampson, but it was a name we both loved and so it stuck.  And truthfully, I can’t imagine him with any other name.

When Sampson was almost three I broached the subject of getting him a companion, to help keep him company when we were at work.  Hubby agreed as long as we named her Delilah.

She came to us as “Ginny” (a Harry Potter name I was perfectly content to keep, but a deal is a deal) since she didn’t seem to answer to Ginny anymore than she answered to Delilah, we changed her name.

Whenever people ask us the dog’s names inevitably we get the knowing nod or the “Awe” moment when they hear both dogs names. This is Sampson (they smile) and this is Delilah.  

Everybody say it with me, “AWE!”

All that being said, I can’t tell you how many times I thought…I should have named her:

Padfoot – This is due to the way she pads along behind me or in front of me anytime she thinks she might be getting food. You’d think a dog intent on stealing food would be stealth.  Not this dog.

Alice – as in, “One of these days Alice, Pow, right to the moon!” This is usually after I’ve told her countless times to GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN! Typically it’s accompanied by a bunch of swear words.  Oh who am I kidding, it’s usually the “F” word.  GET OUT OF THE FUCKING KITCHEN.  SIRIUSLY!

Delilah Stone

It’s skillz Mama, this girl has skillz.

Hoover – This is due to the fact she is like a vacuum.  She inhales her food, even when we invert her bowl to make it more challenging and she sucks food off the floor faster and cleaner than any vacuum I’ve ever had.

Lucy – as in, “Luuuuuuucyyyyy, you got some ‘splainin to do!”  This is usually when I find something shredded that wasn’t meant to be shredded.  Like the napkin I left on the couch table when I zipped into the kitchen to get some salt.  I swear I was only gone 10 seconds.

Sirius – (one of my favorite Harry Potter characters) used like, “Are you sirius?”  This is after I’ve tripped on her five times and am trying to get somewhere but she keeps walking in front of me. And it doesn’t matter if you change directions, no.  This dog has cat like skills.  The kind that can trip someone and send them tumbling down the stairs or into a wall.

Harm – as in, “Let me move these brownies to the top of the refrigerator and out of Harm’s way.” Because if you leave them anywhere within her tongue’s reach, she’s going for it. And she’s quick, like a vacuum.

What kind of thoughts did you put into naming your pets?  Do you ever think you may have chosen the wrong name?

If My Dogs Could Understand Me

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Most days I’m quite grateful for the communication system I have with my dogs.  They know a decent number of words.  Enough words so on a typical day, I get my point across.  For the most part, I get what I want and they’ve found a way to communicate what they want.

I’m very glad that Delilah cannot speak.  I imagine her to have a fast-paced, snappy, sassy way of talking.  

Not to mention nagging.  

“It’s 9 o’clock, you know that right?  9 o’clock is snack time, you know that right?  Snack time, that’s when you get up off the couch and get us our Kongs.  You remember our Kongs, don’t you?  I’m sure you do, I sat in the kitchen and watched you stuff them.  You stuffed them and put them in the freezer for 9 o’clock snack.  It’s 9 o’clock, you know that right? 9 o’clock is snack time.”

I imagine I’d get tired of that pretty damn quick.

Mostly I’m quite satisfied with our communicating technique.  But there are times, when I really wish my dogs could understand exactly what I’m saying. If my dogs could understand what I was saying for just one day, I imagine I’d have some things to tell them.

Things like:

Delilah don’t eat dog shit.  Number one, it’s disgusting and it makes your breath stink and number two, well it’s just disgusting.

Sampson, the boots are not to make your life miserable, they are to protect your feet from the cold and snow, so please do me a solid and stop trying to kick the freaking things off.

It goes for you too Delilah, the boots will not bite you when you squat to potty, so you can stop walking like there’s a stick up your ass.

Dog hates her boots.

I might have to wear these ‘boots’ but I don’t have to pose for the camera.

Sampson, I would pet and hold you all night long, if you’d only lie next to me, instead of at the bottom of the bed.

Delilah, I would love to let you run off leash all through the park, if only you’d stop eating dog shit, and going into people’s yards to see what kind of food you can scrounge.

Sampson, not every car we pass has a person in it and not every person we see is a person who likes dogs. Please stop yanking my arm out of its socket, they don’t make shirts that fit  one long and one short arm.

Delilah, there is something not right with your liver, I’m doing everything possible to keep you alive, please stop eating shit that you shouldn’t.  I assure you, you really are getting enough food.

Do you ever wish you could REALLY communicate with your dogs?  If your dogs could understand you for just one day, what would you tell them? 

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