I can’t stand it when people say, “Happy Monday!”  In my opinion, that is an oxymoron.  Here’s how my Monday started.

Delilah for some reason wouldn’t leave the bathroom.  I climbed over her at least three times before I gently guided her to the bedroom and suggested she lie on the bed with her brother; only to have her return immediately to the bathroom where she stuffed herself between my legs.

All of a sudden there was a flurry of barking and rushing for the door, so I went to let them out only to find a pile of shredded sponge waiting for me outside my bedroom door.

I let the dogs out, picked up the sponge, walked into the living room only to find a shredded paper towel that someone left lying around, which Delilah happily shredded.

I finally finished getting ready for work, went out fed the cat, fed the dogs, turned on my cell phone, washed the dishes.  Then I realized I needed to scoop the cat’s box; Delilah for some reason is hawking around right in front of the door to the cat’s room, so I climbed over Delilah AGAIN, climbed over the gate into the cat’s room, scooped the box, turned around to leave and realized Bob ate his food, then took four steps and puked it up all over the floor.  I said a mental prayer of thanks that I didn’t step in the puke and slip as I climbed over the gate.  (Aren’t you glad I didn’t take a photo?)

I climbed back over the gate (and Delilah) went to the kitchen and grabbed the paper towels, heard my cell phone vibrating but I couldn’t remember where I put it.  Climbed over the gate, cleaned up the puke, climbed back over the gate to get some cleaner for the floor, back over the gate, spray, wipe, back over the gate.

Grabbed the recycling items, went outside, threw recycling and cat box/puke bag in their respective containers (thankfully I did not confuse the two bins.)  Back into the house, washed my hands, found the cell phone, read the text, started to gather my food items to take with me for the day.  I had a rational thought that if I timed it right I would  have enough time to update Sampson and Delilah’s facebook pages, so I thought it might be wise to  go turn on the laptop.

Brought the laptop over to the couch, grabbed my salad container, went downstairs filled it with salad, and back upstairs. Then I remembered the 10 pounds of beautiful fresh strawberries I picked on Saturday sitting high on a shelf  in order to ensure their safety.  Grabbed the strawberries, washed a small strainer full and sliced three up to add along with some walnuts and feta cheese to my salad, and put the strawberries back on the shelf.

I thought about the laptop and how I should make sure it had loaded properly, so I walked over to it and sure enough I had plugged it in, but I didn’t turn it on!  So I turned on the laptop, went back to the kitchen to gather my food items and loaded them in my bag.  I grabbed my delicious chicken sausage soup from the fridge only to discover the noodles absorbed all the liquid during the night, so I had some kind of mish mosh for lunch.

I packed my food and headed over to the laptop where I had 8 minutes to update Facebook pages and leave for work because the town is paving at the end of my road and I needed an alternate route.

Happy + Monday = Oxymoron.