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Warning, there are some bad cuss words coming your way if you choose to read this.  You’ve been warned.

Two weeks ago we had an encounter with a neighbor I’m calling Mr. Grouchy Pants.

Okay, technically he’s not my immediate neighbor (he lives two streets down.)

Okay and maybe, just maybe he wasn’t exactly grouchy, but our encounter left me feeling very disgruntled.

Here’s what happened.

I went home at lunch to take Sampson and Delilah for their walk.  My boss was gone so I figured I could take a few extra minutes and walk the dogs around the block.  Plus it was a lovely day and I didn’t want to go back to work. 🙂

We approach this house and I notice the garage door is open and I hear a car start up.  I surmise a person is backing out of the driveway so I move the dogs off to the side so the person can back out.

Mr. Grouchy Pants (humor me, okay?) is facing us on the road and motions for me to walk forward.  

I smile and shake my head and use my hand to motion him to go first.  In retrospect if I knew what was coming I would have made a different hand motion, but I was clueless.

So Mr. Grouchy Pants pulls forward and stops next to me.  Thankfully I had the good sense to tighten Sampson’s leash as he has a tendency to want to jump up on cars to say hello.  Delilah having received her treat is sitting patiently on the grass.

Mr. Grouchy Pants rolls down his window and says, “What’s going on?”

I smile, shake my head and reply, “Nothing.”

The Mr. Grouchy Pants says, “Well I don’t like the dogs on my lawn.”

I very politely say, “I’m sorry.  I stopped them so you could back out of your driveway.”

“Oh, okay.” He responds and drives off.

I couldn’t believe it. I’m shocked.  Stunned.  Hurt.  I won’t lie.  I cried.  I felt like he had slapped me.  

First, my dogs were just sitting there.  They weren’t tearing his lawn up and they certainly weren’t pooping there.

Second, we have no sidewalks in our neighborhood and so the town has about five feet on each lawn (give or take) for a right of way.  I’m assuming this is in case they decide to install sidewalks.  So technically my dogs weren’t on HIS lawn.

Then I got pissed and thought, what I should have said was, “Oh I’m sorry, I stopped the dogs so YOU could back up, but don’t worry, that won’t happen again.  The next time you can hit me you grouchy old fuck and then I’ll sue your grumpy old ass and own your house and my dogs can stand wherever the fuck they want.”

And then I thought a whole bunch of other things.  Like ways to make his life miserable, but then I remembered our friend Karma.  She’s a real bitch.  Besides who needs that negative Juju?

What do you think?  Am I over reacting?

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