Heart Like a Dog

The Good, the Bad, and the Oh My God of living with dogs!

How to Train Your Human

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Hi peeps, this is Sampson Stone here. I wanted to share something funny with you all.

Sometimes my dad leaves the TV on when he leaves for work, which is how I noticed a movie, “How to Train Your Dragon, the Hidden World” is being released in few days.

For you dogs who don’t know what I’m talking about, some fool humans made a movie about training dragons. I mean, what the woof? There aren’t any dragons around anymore, and they are making a big deal about some cartoon kid training a ‘dragon’ when us dogs have been training our humans since our ancestors figured out they had food.

Doesn’t that make you want to howl at the moon?

Har har har

And they say “THEY” domesticated US, I SAY, it’s the other way around!

Here are a couple of tricks Delilah and I have been teaching our mom.

Our mom is trained to get up in the morning and take me, then Delilah for our walks, and then she’s trained to hurry home from work, to take us on MORE walks! On those walks, we’ve trained her to pick up our poops (not nice to leave those precious presents in someone else’s yard) CARRY them BACK to our yard, where she saves them in a handy bin, until… once a week she has a truck PICK up the precious poops and she ships them off to somewhere else for safe keeping.

The new trick I’m working with mom on is to give me treats on my walk. Don’t let your tail the wrong way, she’s been trained for quite some time to give me treats after I pee or poop, BUT the newest trick is to give me treats every few steps.

The way I train that is this. I step off to sniff something and when I’m done, I stop and wait for her to give me a treat. If she doesn’t right away, I’ll start walking, but then I stop and wait.

She’s being so slow to learn this trick. I mean, it starts off good. She gives me treat, treat, treat and then she slacks off and says things like, “Come on Sampson…I don’t have time for this… I have to give Delilah her walk too… stop being a little asshole.”

Sometimes she loses focus and just laughs, but I have that dogged determination and I keep working it, on every single walk.

Do any of your four-legged howlers have any tips on how you train YOUR human?

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  1. Oh my sweet baby Butter! How I love thee!! You had me trained at hello (Ahrooooooooo!) 💜💜💜💜

  2. If someone is sitting somewhere where you want to lay, you just stare at them. They ask you what do you want. You stare at them some more until they eventually move over and let you have their seat. If you must, kick them a bit to make them make more room for you.

    This method works well in other areas, such as: wanting to go outside, breakfast/dinner time etc. Extra points for making a point of staring at what you want and then back at the human.

  3. Sounds like you have a really good system. We don’t get any treats on our walks, so that would be tough for us to train. Good luck on getting her to be more generous.

  4. Oh Sampson, you lucky pup! Our Mom says we’ll get fat if she gives us too many treats. And she gets growly with Dad when he gives us ice cream because it upsets our tummies. But since she discovered the treats that Miss Jan at Wag n Woof Pets makes, Mom has gotten more generous. She says those are much healthier for us.

    Oh, and I bark my fool head off to get what I want – attention mostly – and it works every time. But sometimes it backfires cuz Daddy gets super-mad and screams at me to “shut up!” and then puts me in time out. (But Mom then takes Shadow and me outside to calm us down and play. 😉)

    • Thanks for mentioning our treats, Ducky!! ♥ They can be broken into smaller pieces too, though Luke says that is not at all necessary. BOL

  9. I find Mom to be a very slow learner. I really want treats every few steps, like you. But she only shells out when I see another doggie or the gator cart that the maintenance guys drive. Picky.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake