Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Source
I observe a lot of things when I’m out walking my dogs. Truly if you read this blog at all, you know our walks are usually pretty entertaining.
Some general things I observe are what I like to refer to as, “The Murphy’s Law of Dog Walking.”
Sometimes ya just gotta laugh.
Your dog will more than likely go where no man has gone before – example: if they can squish themselves under a bush or between two rocks, yup, that’s the place to do their ‘doody.’ (Yeah thanks, and I thought squeezing into some dressing rooms was hard.)
The softest, loosest poop will be in the yard with the longest grass, making it next to impossible to remove from your neighbor’s lawn without removing a good bit of their grass. (You’re welcome for trimming that bit of yard you lazy ass.)
You don’t look at your dog before bending down to scoop and wind up with a mouth or face full of dirt and leaves, when they decide to ‘cover’ it up. If it’s your lucky day, there’s no poop, rocks or sticks in it.
The day you don’t see that squirrel? Your dog will, requiring a trip to the emergency room to have your dislocated shoulder painfully snapped back in place. (Where did ALL the damn squirrels come from anyway?) A few years back we had practically no squirrels at all, now our neighborhood looks like there’s a fire sale at the peanut factory. You better run, Squirrel.
That light and gentle rain that began when you first started your walk, will turn into a deluge when and only when, you’re at the half-way mark of your walk. Shoulda grabbed a hat.
Trying to swat bugs with a bag of dog shit in your hand will result with you knocking yourself in the head or face with said bag. (Thank dog for lavender scented bags.)
You will walk past house after house and your dog will decide to poop at the only house where the owner is outside. Or they will stop to squat, right as the person opens their door to step outside. “Hi, how you doing? I’ll just pick this up and be on my way.”
That one morning you decide to walk on the side of the street with the e-fence dog, that is the day that the door opens and the dog comes charging out at you. Well that picked up my heart rate, probably burned 100 calories right there.
I’m sure there’s more and I’ll jot them down as I think of them. What about you, do you have any Murphy’s Laws of Dog Walking to add?
Our walks are snoozefests compared to yours! We’re not complaining about that, believe me. Keep your laws away from us, Murphy. There’s no fire sale on peanuts here!! So funny!
You make me appreciate our quiet walks in the country so much more! 🙂
For some reason, we don’t really see a lot of squirrels on our walks, we do hear the occasional chippie but the dogs don’t see to react much when we’re walking. Which is actually surprising, considering all the drama that happens when they see one run across the patio at the house!
We always enjoy taking a nice big, slow dump on the lawn when people are entertaining outside, preferably eating. It sends Mom through the roof! Murphy’s Law definitely applies for us.
Our walks are so boring compared to yours. Which is definitely not a complaint.
LOL…nothing to add, I’m still picturing the flailing arms swinging a big bag of poop hither and fro and can’t stop laughing. Don’t you just love bugs?!
Oh wait…I just realized Murphy’s Law should include your dog taking a dump right in the middle of a sidewalk going up toward someone’s front porch. And it’s more than just soft. And you have no tissue with you to wipe it off your hand because you WILL get some on your hand trying to smoosh and cajole it all into the bag that seems to have miniaturized its width since you took it out of your pocket. Awk!
LOL – I’ve got to quit reading your blog during breaks at work – no one understands when I start laughing.
Monty, Harlow and Ramble
That pretty well sums it up for me back in the days when I lived in a nice, quiet neighborhood where I could actually walk in the street – and even busier main roads – without worrying about our safety.
going in a neighbors yard just before we get back to our place.
if its in our yard then hubby cleans up.
love meagans comment about the getting the zoomies. lily also does this after her bath. she also likes to dry herself off on the furniture and us.
Lol if it will happen it will happen to you
I’d love to see you when your dog decides to cover the poop! Enjoy the rest of the week!
Laika doesn’t try to cover her poop very often, but it always makes me laugh when she does. The rain thing really gets to me though, I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve gone out while it’s clear only to come back soaked.
Never a dull time on your walks…lol.
I’m so glad you shared this one because I was traveling when you originally posted it–and I can totally relate. Especially the long grass part–I’m so looking forward to leaves falling soon because it will make picking up the gross loose poop so much easier!
I think you have it covered! And I had to laugh, because so many of those things have happened to me!
This is like to story of my life, I swear. I let the dogs out of the car to go to the park and instead and waiting two seconds to be at the park they all poop in the yard of the house I parked in front of and the owner is standing right there. Life with dogs for sure and Murphy’s Law go hand in hand!