I had my twin daughters straight out of high school, so as a result I was a much older adult (37ish?) when I found the time/energy/finances to attend college.
As an older adult learner, I found I really enjoyed school, in fact, I excelled at it and loved going and learning and getting good grades. Grades in fact, were my highest priority. And while it took me 5-years to complete a 2-year degree, I was so proud to graduate Magna Cum Laude. (Fuck you earth sciences! You stole my Summa!)
One of the things I discovered while attending college was, the more anxious/nervous I was, the better I did on tests. On those days when I walked confidently and calmly into an exam, chances were I wasn’t acing it.
And so it is in the rest of my life. When I’m super anxious about something, odds are, things are going to be fine, and when I’m fairly calm, the unexpected happens.
Before I tell you this, please know that Sampson is okay.
I calmly dropped Sampson off at the vet on Tuesday, I’d slept fairly well the night before (another thing that should have tipped me off) and had no real nerves/anxiety about the procedure.
I had to run home after dropping him off to finish feeding Delilah and let her out to potty. It was super cold out, so I left the car running with my purse and cell phone inside.
This would be the great part where the car was stolen from my driveway, but that didn’t happen.
Instead, I missed a call from the vet.
So when I got back into the car I realized she’d left a voice-mail. I called her back and that’s when she told me that Sampson had an Arrhythmia and she thought she detected a slight heart murmur. The tooth pulling was off as she didn’t feel it safe to put him under anesthesia.
Things change in this world so rapidly. Sampson had his annual wellness exam in November, (November 11th to be exact) and everything was fine. Now here we are just over two months later and he has a heart murmur and an irregular heartbeat.
Sounds a bit scary if you ask me.
Since he was at the vet’s office on Tuesday, they did a chest x-ray which showed his heart was NOT enlarged, which is a really good thing. The next suggested step was an EKG and an ultrasound. As luck would have it, the traveling vet who performs the ultrasounds was in the office yesterday and they’d had a cancellation, so Sampson got that spot.
From everything I’ve heard about him, he’s very knowledgeable and does ultrasounds and consults in vet offices all over New England.
So yesterday I dropped Sampson off at the vet’s office again. Poor pup missed breakfast two days in a row and don’t even get me started on what a pain in the ass Delilah was.
Around 2:00 I headed home to give Delilah her walk and on my way, my vet called. The ultrasound of Sampson’s heart showed no abnormalities, and apparently the next logical thing to be causing the Arrhythmia is a mass on the liver or spleen. We briefly discussed the cost and then I asked her when I could expect to hear from her and she said by 3:00 and we said goodbye.
I hung up the phone and then I cried. Big, gasping, gulping sobs. I felt like I’d been sucker punched in the gut.
I managed to make it home, and grabbed Delilah and headed out for our walk. Thankfully she headed up to the woods and as we walked those paths that Sampson loves, I prayed.
Now some of you may not believe in God or prayer and that’s cool. We are each here on our own paths and with our own belief systems. Personally I believe and I believe in prayers, so here’s what said, “I’m not going to barter with you because we both know how well I hold up my end of the bargain, but I will beg you. Please, please let him be okay. Please don’t let it end like this.”
The worst 38 minutes of my life took place on that walk.
My stomach was in knots and I’m so glad it wasn’t freezing cold because I would have looked like Jack Frost with frozen tears on my face. When the call finally came I had all I could do to speak coherently.
The ultrasound showed a slightly leaky heart valve, which is the heart murmur my vet heard. She’s not overly concerned about that. It also showed the slight Arrhythmia. There were no masses or abnormalities on his heart, liver or spleen.
The only thing they found was a “weird little nodule” (her words) on his adrenal gland. She said it could be the start of Cushings disease or it could be nothing. She took his blood pressure and drew some blood to test and needs a morning urine sample and then we go from there. If it’s not Cushing’s, we will monitor him and recheck that adrenal in a month or two.
When I hung up that phone, right then and there in the middle of that rocky, acorn, leaf strewn woods, I dropped down on my knees and thanked the Lord for answering my prayers.
As a writer, one would think one could find words to express gratitude, but all I could come up with was “Thank you! Thank you!” while I sobbed anew, with Delilah sticking her face in mine because she knew I was upset.
So here’s a new twist on an old riddle. “If someone cries in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, is there still a sound?”
HELL YES!
When I picked Sampson up last night I had the chance to speak with my vet again. She said Sampson’s blood pressure was a bit high, but she’d like to take it again when I’m there with him and he hasn’t been at the vet’s all day. I also need to get that urine sample from him and once we get all those tests back, we may not know what it is, but we will know what it’s NOT.
Then we can reschedule the ultrasound just to cover all our bases. For all we know, Sampson could have had that weird little nodule on his adrenal gland forever. She also said the Arrhythmia and the murmur aren’t anything that require meds or treatment at this time. We just need to monitor him.
And so it is in life. Things change, stuff happens but through it all, people still love and care for each other and so I want to thank all of you. For the comments, texts and messages and for checking in on Sampson and me. For caring for my dogs and me, it’s new territory we’re delving into and I’m so glad to have you all along for the moral support.
Welcome to Thursday’s Barks and Bytes Blog hop hosted by 2 Brown Dawgs and Heart Like a Dog. We hope you will grab a badge from one of our websites and join us.
That little stinker. He just didn’t want his tooth pulled.
Oh no! That’s a total bummer! Poor guy!
I’m really glad he’s okay! (((hugs)))
I am so glad he is okay. Give that boy a big ol hug for me and the brown dogs send him a get well ROO ROO!!
I’m glad I was able to “be there” for you through all this! Just as you were there for me the morning we said goodbye to Callie. The moral support we all give each other in times like these means the world to me as well. I’m so happy to read this update after our text “conversations” yesterday and Tuesday! Once again, my Callie excelled as a guardian angel. 😇 (I miss her terribly, but I’m glad she’s helping God watch over my friends’ dogs.)
Thank you God! I love my “Butter” like he is mine! Sometimes thank you just doesn’t seem to cover it! I’ve been in those situations as well, where thank you just doesn’t seem like it’s enough! We need to make up a new word that means more than thank you ever so much! I pray for Sandman, Delilah and Mo everyday!! Love to you and the fur babies!
So many of us have been there on those tear-filled walks, paralyzed-with-fear car rides, and unthinkable waits. And like you, I know that God is there, too – to be sure that we’re all OK no matter what the test results are.
Katie has a level 1 heart murmur too, got the chest x-ray and all, but our vet says many dogs get it as they age. Remember if a dog ages roughly 7 yrs to our 1 yr, 2 months is a lot longer than just 2 months, so for that reason it seems more logical things change in just 2 months. We are monitoring Katie and she will get checked again in another month. If it gets worse, there are medications to help with it. Her case, is most likely just the beginnings of natural heart failure which isn’t good, but she is 13 1/2 and a large dog. Be thankful your vet is good and didn’t do surgery and is helping find the cause of the heart murmur. We have our paws crossed it is nothing more than an age thing.
Poor little man. Glad he’s ok hun ☺
I’m so relieved they saw nothing wrong with the liver and spleen and agree with Joy – hope this is nothing more than an age thing. You know I do believe in the power of prayer and mine continue for you and sweet Sampson.
Praise Jesus he is okay! I know what you mean about feeling sucker punched. Been there. Does Sampson get to keep his tooth?
Oh geez, reading this made me relive so many moments right along with you. The gut punch feeling, the walk, the prayers, the begging and luckily the wonderful feeling that your worst fears haven’t materialized. I’m so glad Sampson is okay and hopefully the vet can remove the tooth with an alternate type of anesthesia or pain blocker. Sending lots of smiles and more prayers your way this morning. Hugs to you and Sampson! 🙂
So glad things are not the worst case scenario. Sam & I send our best hugs and healing puppy kisses to sweet Sampson. Thoughts and prayers to you. ღ Please keep us posted-we all adore you and your pups and care what happens to all of you.
Jodi, God does answer prayer, so glad you asked and thanked Him for answered prayer.
Hopefully it’s just part of getting older and nothing serious. Our senior dogs do make us worry! (Well, the young ones do too)
We send our wishes! We hope everything works out.
Gosh, I just cried as I read that because I could feel exactly what you were going through. You’ve confirmed my belief that if I worry like crazy, and go through every worst case scenario in my head, it will be OK. I’ve said some of those begging prayers too, and my belief in God isn’t even that strong.
I sometimes wonder how I got through these things before I had the blog. Sure, family and friends are there for me…but they have their lives too and they can only do so much. It was my blog friends like you that were IM’ing me the most about Sheba.
I’ll continue to pray for Sampson that it turns out to be nothing to worry about (but please worry anyway…LOL…because we both know what happens if you don’t).
Seriously I couldn’t imagine the stress of waiting on those tests… I know that gut punch feeling well, it’s something you don’t forget. Glad to know the liver & spleen look well, hearing the word “mass” causes me to panic immediately.
Wishing you guys all the best.
it’s the not knowing and the waiting thats the hardest part. now that you know more you can start taking action and making plans for Samson to get better. turns out the bad tooth was a good thing.
lm sure Delilah is confused and missing Samson. you needed each other on that walk.
as for prayer you have every right to mention it. so glad it brought you comfort
how is your hubby doing with all this?
sending large comforting hugs to all.
So scary. It is awful when your pup is hurt or sick and you don’t know what to do or how to make it better. I am sending good vibes and prayers!!
Praying that all goes well….you are right…so much can change in an instant!!!! You will take care of everything, step by step. BTW I strongly believe in prayer too! (((hugs)))
I cried just reading that! I’m so glad it wasn’t one of the very serious issues, and I hope he continues to be okay.
Gosh, that was a scary story. I’m glad you got some good news. Hopefully the weird little nodule is just a weird little nodule, and you can just monitor him and he’ll be fine! Sending pawsitive thoughts his way – and yours!
What a crappy day. Glad everything worked out and that it’s back to living a dog’s life for Sampson. I’ve been there myself and it helped me to enjoy the good times. Not just the ones with my current dogs but the good times I had left with the dogs that have now passed before me.
I totally understand Sampson. It is hell getting old. One day you are fine and the next day they are prodding you, taking blood and in some cases chopping parts of your organs out. But it is just a small bump in a very long life and you will be fine.