This weekend it seemed like Delilah was trying to pluck my last nerve.
It started out on Friday night. I was having some trouble defrosting their food and bringing the temperature up from ice cold. I emptied the dishpan, added some warm water and set her dish inside it, I sat down in the living room. A few minutes later I went in, changed the water and placed the bowl back in the sink. Walked back to the living room and Delilah was in the sink trying to eat the food.
I was so mad, I yelled quite loudly and made her lie on her bed until it was time for dinner.
And you know what? I didn’t feel bad about it either.
Saturday morning we went downstairs to open Mom’s blinds and Delilah stole a muffin mom was defrosting for breakfast. Luckily, I was right there and quickly grabbed it. The she took a pair of Mom’s underwear out of the laundry and rolled in them.
My sister came in with Mom’s groceries and while we were bringing the bags in and trying to put the groceries away, Delilah ate a grape.
My sister was upset, but I just shrugged it off and said, “She already stole Mom’s muffin.”
Now you guys know me, I’m not politically correct, and if you haven’t figured it out yet, sometimes I can be a bit….what shall I call it?
I’m going with raunchy.
Well no surprise, but my sister is too. Anyhoo, this statement, “She already stole Mom’s muffin” understandably got my sister and I off on a tangent.
Sister: “She stole Mom’s muffin? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
Me: “She did, she stole Mom’s muffin.”
Sister: “Did she lick Mom’s muffin too”
You get the idea where the conversation went from there. Quite truthfully, I can’t remember much of it, probably because I was laughing so hard.
Of course, Delilah was now on a roll and the weekend continued from there.
She licked my tomato soup cup and I’m pretty sure she drank water out of the sink.
Finally yesterday morning she took a buttery spatula out of the sink and brought it into the living room to clean up on my brand-new-less-than-24-hours-old throw rug.
And people wonder why I start my day with whiskey in my coffee.
It’s because of this dog.
That’s just a load of tosh. Look at this face, a sweet face like this wouldn’t do all those things. Would it?
It boggles my mind. Because she knows so many words. Like last night for instance I gave her her frozen Kong and she took it into the living room and put it down on the new rug. I went in and said “Eck, no, over here.” And she picked up the Kong and moved.
WTF why can’t she understand not to steal stuff off the counters? Any of you have luck training dogs like Delilah?
My dog Obi once ate an entire small pizza while no one was looking. He must have sucked it out of the box carefully because the box was in the same place on the counter and the lid was closed. I came in to get a piece and was really annoyed at my daughter who i thought had eaten it all. I yelled, “Why would you eat the whole pizza and not save me any?” and she said, “We have pizza?” Then I notice the sauce on top of Obi’s head. Sneaky guy.
Gman is still stealing stuff off the counters so I have no advice for you. Least you guys were having a conversation about the muffin and not the underware! You need to give that girl more fiber to fill her up, she’s a starving marvin.
That dog…..how the hell do you survive? My friend puts buttershots in her coffee every morning. It tastes pretty good.
BOL, some days are JUST like that. Sadly, it’s called owning dogs. I often wonder what gets into Sam’s little pea brain when he pulls stunts like pulling a pumpkin muffin (let the raunchiness begin–I know I’ll never be able to say muffin again with a straight face!) off the dining room table. He’s never pulled anything off the table and I still to this day have no idea where he thought that might even be remotely acceptable. The rule has always been NO FREAKING BEGGING OF ANY KIND WILL BE TOLERATED at our ‘ranch.’ I guess he must have been a lawyer in previous lifetime since he’s managed to figure out a way to bypass the technical aspect of begging and just went for the flat-ass stealing part. Dogs! Can’t live with them, definitely can’t live without them. You have my sympathy and emphathy. On the plus side, she really does have an adorable face that you just want to leave lipstick marks all over it. <3 Thank goodness there's alcohol and coffee and the two go quite well hand in hand. 🙂
Callie used to steal stuff off the counters, and out of the sink, too. And there was nothing I could really do about it except stop leaving it where she could reach it. I started leaving stuff like that on top of the fridge. Hubby insisted on feeding all 3 dogs at the counter, the table, and the snack trays. That crap was the catalyst for God-only-knows how many fights. But then they started having tummy issues and you know the rest of that story. Now the kitchen and bathroom floors are off limits except when supervised, so no more issues. But I sure as heck wouldn’t recommend ACL surgery just to keep her out of the kitchen! 🙂
Sorry, no advice, we have a couple sneaky canine thieves living with us too…
Your posts are always so funny, thanks in a large part to Delilah. Are you going to dedicate your book to her?
OH, but look at that sweet face…I think you are making all of this up.
My little brat randomly gets the chewies and eats usually a rug, blanket, or towel….
Sorry if you come up with anything for your thief let me know and i’ll try it with my random attack chewer!
Oh, I was waiting for YOU to give ME advice on how to deter Luke from doing these things. LOL
Did I tell you that lately he’s started sticking his head in the kitchen sink looking for things? I immediately thought of Delilah. I’m just hoping he doesn’t get any bigger, because I don’t think he can quite reach in there yet.
I would just give up on the training – it’s Monday Mischief blog fodder for years! So… how does she get stuff out of the sink?? Is she that tall? Does she jump up on the counter? Rita has never stolen anything. (Not because we trained her well – she just came to us that way!) And she has never stolen Momma’s muffin!
There’s something irresistible about new rugs. Silas threw up on mine after it had been in the house about twelve hours. This is my dog who, like a perfect gentleman, always asks to go outside to throw up. Always, unless there’s a new rug.
Ha ha ha! Delilah, don’t ever change! What would we all laugh about if you did?
No advice here on how to get her to stop! Just keep your camera handy so you can catch her in the act for entertaining blog posts!
My advice…accept and drink more brandy!!
At our house, dogs aren’t the problem, it is that damn cat bro Bert. He jumps on the table in the middle of a meal to grab food. He is a menace! If we have company over, he has to be locked up or he will be in the food. Hey, maybe you would like a nice male cat??? He is a good snuggler, and loves dogs.
LOL sometimes it is a lost cause isn’t it?