Yesterday morning we woke up to cold rain. Sampson and Delilah aren’t fond of going outside to potty in the rain, but if we’re walking even if it’s raining, they are keen to go.
The three of us were drenched when we got home. I dried the dogs off, hung leashes, collars, harnesses, gloves and coats by the fire and threw another log on. Lucky for me my coat was dry in time to go to work. I gave the dogs each a carrot and left them curled up toasty and warm in front of a raging fire.
I went to work hoping the weather would clear in time for our afternoon walk.
It didn’t.
It was rainy and 46 cold degrees on our afternoon walk. We walked out the door to the end of the driveway. Delilah stopped, rooting about in leaves. I saw the second poop just after she swallowed the first one.
She was quicker than I was.
I don’t know about you, but when my dog is eating something my first thought is to get it away from her. I don’t actually think about what she’s eating, just that she’s eating.
You see where I’m going, right?
Yeah, I sort of shoved my gloved hand in her mouth to try to get it out.
All I accomplished was getting a glove covered in shit.
I took the gloves off in disgust and threw them on the ground.
Yeah, there are my gloves, sitting in the rain, while I walk gloveless.
I’d have to walk in the cold rain without gloves. I wrapped the leash around my wrists and shoved my hands in my pockets.
A few minutes later I pulled my hand out to untangle leashes and I smelled it. WTF?
GREAT, not only did I get shit on my gloves, my hand stunk like it too! I’d have to finish the walk with my hands fully exposed to the elements. My mood toward Delilah darkened and I cast her an evil look out of the side of my eye. In fact when she bent down to sniff at something, I pretty certain I threatened her with bodily harm.
Sampson meanwhile keeps looking up at me wanting me to treat him.
Notice I’m standing on the side with the hand that DIDN’T go in her mouth.
Which is hard to do because as soon as Delilah hears him crunching, she wants a treat too and I’m not sticking my hand near her mouth again!
Suddenly Sampson sees two white tail deer in a yard! He looks at me and barks, “I know, I see it too buddy.” I also see the glint in his eye and brace myself for the launch. “Don’t do it, buddy! Leave it!” I say. He looks dejected but settles for a treat.
It’s now about ten minutes into our walk. My hands are wet, cold and red. I begin to pray that one of them will take a dump, just so I’ll have something warm to wrap my hand around, I mean, it already stinks like shit right? Why not go for the whole enchilada?
Finally about 1/2 way through our walk Delilah rewards me. Actually I think it was an attempt to redeem herself. Now at least for a few minutes I have something warm to hold on to. And yes, I latched on to that like it was my birthday and I was being offered cake.
About 20 minutes or so after we started our walk, we arrived home once again drenched to the skin.
Thankfully we had a fire going to warm us, and a washer to clean up my gloves, the leashes and my jacket.
It was a walk I wanted over before it really began. Do you ever have one of those walks? What are your secrets to make a bad weather walk better?
Ha ha we have all had walks like that. I too often do the ‘stick the hand in the mouth to get whatever is in the mouth out’ trick but I have never been greeted with poop. Was it her poo or someone elses?
I have to laugh, when you said about having a poo to warm your hands up with (yes, I am aware that reads like you are the one having the poo, but you know what I mean!) I had an image of you thinking pfft, hand already smells of poo let’s save a poo bag and just pick it up with the hand!! You never know, if your hands are softer this morning, you may have discovered a new beauty treatment and can make your millions!
Oh yes, we have had those walks and let me tell you, if Mom gets poop on her hand(s), it is all over! She makes a beeline for the shortest route home she knows. That’s one thing she can’t stand. Last winter when it was so over cold, bags kept breaking with the poop because the plastic froze and cracked. Boy was Mom not happy with poop everywhere and it happened several times too!
LOL that sounds miserable. Mine occasionally eat animal poop while we are out in the forest. Well mostly Storm. I discourage it, but I am not sticking my hand in her mouth to get it back!
Oh dear. I was just thinking this morning that having pets is definitely not for squeamish people. I was lying in bed when the cat came up. My eyes were still closed and I started petting her until I felt something wet and slimy on her tail. Nope, not poop….throw up!! I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to wipe off my hand, but I still had to clean her up and was gagging as I did so. It’s not the way I wanted to start my day!
So Long story Short….. it was a really CRAPPY walk.
Sorry, my friend, no tricks to make a bad-weather walk any better. My girls just go out in the yard while I watch over things. Luckily, I have rain coats for Callie & Shadow. (Ducky has outgrown hers.)
Yuck, that was bad all around. Bad weather walks just need to be fast, and pain free,
Bahahahahaha!!!! Blueberry often eats unauthorized things on our walks – but unless I identify it as something really harmful like a chicken bone, I don’t try to grab it out of her mouth! How bad did you wish for a sharp blade to cut your hand off so you wouldn’t have to be attached to your poo smelling hand?? Or maybe I am the only one that would go to that extreme…
Once upon a time…I had a 90 pound lab mix that I was fostering. A very large bird (I’m thinking a crow) got fried by the telephone lines near my property. It was high up there for a while, decomposing, until a stiff wind finally blew it down onto the other side of my fence. School children line up there for the bus and I didn’t think it would be good for them to be exposed to that. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to go and get said bird whilst having my foster dog along. What was I thinking??? I ended up playing a rather grisly game of tug-of-war with her. Piece by disgusting piece, I finally got the bird remains from her jaws. I had gloves on – but I still ended up throwing them away because I didn’t think any amount of washing would remove the decaying bird smell.
Hey, we’ve all been there. It always happens when you’re the farthest away from home and Kleenex, too. But a gold star for handling it to well. Stay warm and dry. 🙂
Even though it does sound miserable, I’m so glad you shared this story! All of us have felt this way so many times – I think the key is in making sure YOU/THE WALK-ER is comfortable no matter what! I have found that even if it’s raining, snowing or just plain colder than COLD, I can stand it just a little longer. (Secret tip: an extra pair of gloves pinned to the inside of my coat!)
And here I thought you were just hoping they would poop so you could end the walk and get warm. I should have known better! It is awesome how you use your bad moments to brighten everyone else’s days!
I’ve never had a dog walk that went this wrong, but thanks for letting me know how out of control they can become. This was hilarious because it happened to someone else.
Don’t mean to laugh but mom could relate. Happy Birthday too
Lily & Edward
My first instinct is also to shove my hand down Cupcake’s throat when she picks something up outside. Let’s just say I will rethink that response from now on. OMG. Eeeuwww.
Yeah, I lost my willingness to follow things down Honey’s gullet after she swallowed a whole pigeon as a puppy. You’re a braver woman than I, Gunga Jodi. 🙂
this is a situation many dog owners can commiserate with
retro rover
Some walks really just can’t be redeemed, and this one wins some sort of backhanded award. But you got a really good story out of it–thanks for sharing it with us!
I had a similar experience as when I was at work with Glory this week I had a couple of paper towels in my hand to wipe up after her walking through the clinic with her in heat blood dripping out, we went outside and she took a dump so I picked it up with my towels and of course it was too big of poopie and I got it on my fingers to, now remind you I have fake nails so I really had the poop under there. Gotta love the dogs!