I had a dream. In this dream I could talk to any animal or any person and they would understand everything I said. It was the ultimate super power.
Okay, that’s a total lie. I never had a dream, I just thought the intro sounded better than saying the Doctor Doolittle song has been rolling around in my head, making me wonder what kind of message I would tell my dogs if they could actually understand what I was saying to them.
Some of the things I’d really like Delilah to understand:
- The kitchen timer DOES NOT mean, it’s time for you to eat. The same holds true when I open the refrigerator, freezer and pantry doors. Stop racing me to the kitchen, you’re going to kill me one of these days.
- I love walking in the woods with you, but not chasing you.
- When I’m petting Sampson, I’m petting him. I don’t need you shoving your body in the two inch space that is between us.
- I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from laying under my upraised recliner. I hate bopping you on the head when I go to get up.
- My finger is not part of the treat, I’m actually quite attached to it. Please try and remember that.
- I am feeding you a good quality food and in the proper quantity. You don’t need to eat poop. Besides being disgusting, it smells when you burp or fart.
When you talk what I hear is “WhaaaatWah.”
Some of the things I’d like Sampson to understand:
- I’m sorry that Delilah has changed so many things about your life, had I known how much our lives would change, I would have made a different choice.
- Stop, drop and roll is not for the bedroom! I love how you like to be plastered against me when we sleep, and I don’t even mind if you sleep on me, but it would be nice if you laid down gently on me, instead of dropping your whole 90 pounds in 2 seconds.
- Your leg feels better because of all the pills I am hiding in your coconut oil. Stop spitting them out!
- Stop running!! We’re trying to prevent you from needing surgery on your leg AND for the love of woof, use the freakin steps we bought for the bed!
- It doesn’t matter how you move your head, my finger will only go so far into your ear.
Found this on SlimDoggy’s Facebook page, thanks for sharing!
SlimDoggy posted this on their Facebook page the other day, which helped motivate me to write this post. Thanks SlimDoggy!
What would you say if you could talk to your animals? Anything in particular you’d like them to know?
Love the part about the finger is not attached to the treat LOL. I think my peeps would say simply shut up means shut up and that means stop barking all the time. However I have selective hearing. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly
Mom says she would tell me to stop being a drama queen and not be so bossy. Bailie should quit tracking every scent on our walks while making squeaky noises and Katie needs to decide to walk or not to walk but not start walking and then freeze refusing to move. In the house we aren’t too bad except that I get a bit jealous.
Oh so many things…..BOL!
Except that I swear they understand every word, and choose to ignore! ha!
Love that old famous line…”I had a dream”
hmm……I have a habit of setting my alarm half an hour before I actually have to get up, because the snooze button is my best friend. BUT since our pup Koda came into the pack 2 months ago, he seems to think when that first alarm beep goes off, that it is time for him to lick our faces, and jump on top of us.
So i would tell him “Koda, the first beep means nothing, you are dreaming, go back to sleep…….Koda the 15 beeps afetr that dont mean you have to jump on us and lick us EVERY single time the snooze goes off” *sigh* hehehehe
((husky hugz))
frum our pack at love is being owned by a husky
Love that cartoon! For dogs/cats to understand what we say, they’d first have to listen 😉
God…the list to Delilah sounds eerily familiar. However…what makes you think that if you could talk…she’d listen to you anyway? LOL!
Do you really think you would have made a different choice if you could’ve done it over again, or are you just appeasing Sampson?
Donna, it’s scary that I typed almost the same 2nd paragraph as you without having read yours first! 🙂
Okay Jodi…it seems like
nosyinquiring minds want to know…maybe a blog post for another day? Sampson can tell us how Delilah ruined a good gig. 🙂Well..the strike thru did not work as intended. Should have just struck out the “nosy” LOL!
Don’t you just LOVE the fact that Peeps don’t KNOW that we understand everythingy they SAY… We just pretend we DON’T. It is our grrrrreatest Secret.. and a Super Dog Joke.
I would tell Torrey that she doesn’t have to shove her way into another persons hand just because they are petting Roxy. And to stop being so leash reactive. Roxy…..I would tell her to quit getting old, I hate seeing that.
OMD! Is there anything in particular I’d like my dogs to know? I could devote a whole post of my own to that answer!!
And, be truthful now: Even if you had known the differences D would have made in Sampson’s life, would you, COULD you have made different choices?? Just wonderin’
I really think our dogs understand everything we say to them but if they pretend otherwise, it won’t blow their cover.
LOL – great post! I too could probably do a whole post on things I’d like to let Blueberry know.
Blueberry flops on me too – but thank goodness she’s only 42 pounds! Does the air whoosh out of you when Sampson does that? Cause you have to admit – that’s probably a pretty funny sound. Him: flop. You: oooooph.
Hehehe
lol I just loved the “why don’t you use your steps” 🙂 You cracked me up again today. Thanks for the smile.
😀 I would tell Pierson, “Quit barking at every little thing! Besides, you sound like a girl. Maya’s got a meaner bark than you.” And to Maya I’d say, “If you’d just sit still and not act like a crazy dog, strangers would stop and pet you.”
I would love to make Cupcake understand that the mailman, the golf cart, and the neighbor girl’s birthday balloons are not trying to kill her. I tell her a lot, but I can’t make her understand!
I would give anything to be able to talk with Lucas for even just one minute!! I so desperately want him to know that the world is a good place full of fun things, and if he could just keep his ever-loving head about him, he’d get to experience some of it! Mostly, though, I’d want to tell him that I will always keep him safe, and he needs to trust that. Sheesh. 🙂
Too funny, and a great list. I loved that cartoon too. (Sadly, it did not motivate me to write a great post…) The main thing I’d like to say to Rita and have her understand is “Why can’t you be as sweet with strange people and strange dogs as you are with us and your 2 BFFs? No one is trying to kill us.” (BFF = best furry friend.)
Hi Y’all,
I read my Human pretty well and she me. I understand most of what she says a lot better than she understands me. Don’t know what she’d tell me that she hasn’t already communicated.
Y’all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog
Delilah and Storm really are a lot alike. Except about grabbing the treat. That is Freighter. In fact at conformation class on Monday the instructor showed us a way to work on him lunging toward the bait. Its simple really. Not sure why we didn’t think of it…lol.
Forgive me. I meant to comment on your Friday post (today), but clicked away to read this one. I was struck by your comments about Delilah changing Sampson’s life. I SO relate. Give up Rosie? You’d have to pry her from my cold dead arms. However. She added such a new dynamic to the pack. Rudy ADORES her and I’ve no doubt would give up his life for her. Jeffie adores her, too. BUT Jeffie no longer adores Rudy even after Rudy being HIS puppy. It freaks Rudy out and his personality has changed as Jeffie’s attitude has changed towards him. 🙁
Yes! I’ve so often wished I could explain things to my dogs. Like telling Bella that she needs to eat so that she can stay healthy. Or telling Tavish that the thunder isn’t going to get inside and get him or that he’s not going to fall into the water bowl and drown. 😉
Ha ha brilliant, loved the photo. I often wish I could explain to BD why I had to go away, and why I can’t live with him and more. I want him to understand that it wasn’t his fault, and that it breaks my heart a little every time I have to say goodbye to him. I want Mity to know that I love him so much and am so thankful for everything he has done for me.
Wow sorry, what a way to put a downer on something so fun!