Last week I confessed that I called Delilah a Giant Ass Clown. I was somewhat relieved to discover that many of you call your dogs names as well, it helped a little to alleviate my guilt.
But it also got me thinking about why I call her names. I’m a person who likes to diffuse tense situations with humor. I will crack a joke, drop an F-bomb, lower or raise my voice to inject a little humor in a tense situation.
So when Delilah does something with the potential to push me beyond my limit, I call her names. It helps break the tension for me.
How’s that for self realization?
Most of the time Delilah’s antics amuse me.
Most. Of. The. Time.
Of course sometimes what she does is so unbelievable that I can’t laugh right away, it takes some time to process, but generally I can laugh after the fact. Some times it’s well after the fact.
Even the time she ate so much dog poop that she threw it up.
In my house.
Twice.
It took me about two months (probably right after I finally got the smell to go away) to laugh about that. Some people know how to make an entrance, Delilah knows how to clear a house.
Skillz some peeps would say.
It’s almost automatic when she does something crazy for Giant Ass Clown or Douche Bag, or some other crazy name to slip out. The other day I called her a Douche Bag and Hubby called her Douchelilah. THAT made me laugh. I may store that somewhere in my tiny brain and bring it out when she does something totally off the wall.
Something like:
- Using the dog bed I was repairing as a giant stuffy and de-stuffing it.
Dear dog woman, what are you complaining about? It’s not like you vacuum that room.
- Always managing to walk in front of me and block my way, wherever I am going.
- Stretching her foot out in a bow just as I place my foot down, almost tripping me in the process.
- Standing on the rug or the bed when I’m trying to straighten it.
- Licking oil out of a pan on the stove.
- Stealing 7 pounds of chicken necks out of the sink.
- Standing right in the section of the room I am trying to vacuum.
- Sticking her head in the garbage to remove a goody, just as I’m sticking my hand in there to throw something out.
- Cleaning up Sampson’s poop while I was busy shoveling snow.
I was just trying to help. You could show a little gratitude.
- Racing me into the kitchen when I get up to check on something cooking on the stove.
- Squeezing herself into a tiny spot, just so she can be close enough to me to harass me about her snack.
- Running in front of me on my way to the kitchen.
- Being underfoot whenever there is food around.
- Taking anything that has any food remnants and cleaning it up.
Or yesterday when I was kneeling on the floor loving on Sampson and she stuck her nose right in my ass.
Yup, Giant Ass Clown it is.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! It seems all our dogs are so much alike in so many annoying ways. They make us mad. Then, they do something so endearing, our hearts swell with love.
I needed this today. My little Lady ladouchebag is laying here beside me.
Delilah seems to have got it down pat but dogs do just manage to anticipate our actions and are so often there (in the way) waiting for us to do what they think we’re about to do (feed them, give them a treat, cook, go for a walk).
BOL BOL that is some list. The Giant Ass Clown always makes us chuckle too. You should hear some of my names. Have a terrific Tuesday.
Best wishes Molly
Just bless her!!
LOL that Delilah is sure a character. 🙂
Be thankful you don’t have a cat like my cat bro Bert. He works together with us dogs to cause hell around the house. The other day, he stole a roll off the counter, jumped to the floor with it where Bailie tackled him and took it. Mom noticed the missing roll and got it before it was eaten, but it was, of course, trash. That cat is a menace and us dogs know it and we know he can get things we can’t which really makes Mom nuts!
We still can’t laugh about the whole Lee ate into the wall of our new house – but we don’t want to strangle her, so that is progress. I totally understand your love for Delilah – I feel the same about Hailey most of the time!
Bwaaaaa ha ha ha ha! Oh, Delilah, don’t ever change! Well behaved dogs don’t make for good blogs! I read this to hubby this morning and we both shed a few tears of laughter.
LOL…Oh Delilah. She keeps you on your toes, that’s for sure.
WE think that your mom needs to Embrace the fact that YOU have a SUPER PAWsonality!!! She is LUCKY to have you give her so much FUN. RIGHT?
I think the worse I’ve ever called Blueberry was “punk”. 🙂
Yes, I have comment moderator on for any posts older than 5 or 7 days I think it is. I know it can be annoying – but it is worth it to prevent the Spam that shows up on old posts.
Bahahaha Hahaha lmFao!!!!!
I love your posts!! You always make me smile! And I relate to you SO much!!! Koda stick his nose in my crotch/ass area quite often and its the worst when I crounch down to pick something IP and his cold wet nose dives right into my crack Hahaha Hahaha!!!!! Sorry for the details, but man!!
And all 3 of them race me to the kitchen, every single time I stand they all jump up. And I must admit it bothers me sometimes!!!! Like just stay where u r , I will be back in 2 seconds!!
I have even made a game out of it for myself haha! I will start to get up off the couch just enough that they all jump onto the floor, then I sit back down and they all get back on the couch and lay down……then I start to get up again until they all jump off and start to the kitchen….then I AIT back down and I go through this process a BUNCH of times bahahaha!!!! Poor dogs, but its good forma laugh hehe 😉
Thanks for the smile
((Husky hugz))
Frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky
You never fail to crack me up. Needed a laugh today!!! Hating this weather. Love ya lots!!
BOL! Who knew Delilah was such a goof ball?!? Ah, you gotta laugh about those things…better to laugh than have a fit. Good luck! BOL
Oz
Ahhhh! It all sounds so eerily familiar. Are you sure you aren’t writing about Toby. You know, you used to think he was related to Sampson, since they look so similar. But looks can be deceiving. He is ALL Delilah at heart. LOL!
As for names, Nick regularly calls Toby “F-cK Face”. ;-0
And this is why labs are awesome. 🙂
At least you always have something to laugh about. Can you even imagine living with a quiet and well-behaved dog? Booorrrrinnngggg! 😉
Douchelilah, hehehe.
More reasons that I have little dogs who can’t reach places where Labs can cause more mischief. Although my dogs are not nearly as creative as Delilah anyway.
OMD JUST TOO FUNNY! You know how much I love that name and your last sentences cracked me up!
Ahhahahaha – this made me laugh all the way through. Your photo captions especially cracked me up.
Douchlilah is TOO damn funny! I hope you don’t have to pull that one out and use it on her any time soon, though. 🙂
Soooooo funny!!! Love to read these!!!
shoot. My comment seems to have disappeared. Anyway… Douchelilah cracks me up. I hope you don’t have occasion to use that on her any time soon. 🙂
Mom is telling you all your secrets
Lily
lol! Ass clown is fitting!
Moses may have been called a jerk or an asshat before (especially if he flings drool in my face). I’ve been known to describe Alma as bitchy before. Terms of endearment, no?
Ya, what is that all about when they stick their nose right up the booty? Could never understand that one! It’s quite fresh of them, I’d say!
Lol. I might have to steal the Giant Ass Clown name for Leroy. Normally he gets Jerkface or Dickhead but I like Giant Ass Clown!
She is a giant ass clown, sounds like you got the clown nose in your ass. Love her!
LOL! Douchelilah… I love it! I do the same thing with silly name calling in order to try to defuse a potentially stressful situation. I’m not one to curse, though. Instead of sh*# head, I’ll call Pierson a fluffy little poop head. He’s also known as fuzzy monster, he barks his little fuzzy head off, and if he gets into something I tell him to get his fluffy little butt out of it. Seeing a theme here? Maya’s names often refer to her brown nose (brown-noser, miss nosy). She’s also a pain in the petutie. When she was younger, she earned the nickname poopers because she took forever to potty train. It doesn’t apply much now, but I still use it. And more often than not, I’ll just shake my head at her and say, “Oh my, oh my, oh Maya.” Their nicer nicknames are Mr. Fluffybutt and Maya Papaya.
OH. MY. DOG! It sounds like my house! Both Ducky AND Shadow just cannot stand it when the other is getting attention, even if she’s already getting attention! Ducky gets snarky, which of course, gets her more attention when we scold her for it. Poor Shadow just pouts or walks away.
And God knows Ducky has to be first, period. Down the steps, out the door, whatever, which is why I make her wait for her opportunity every chance I get. Her sisters used to be like that, but age has mellowed them. (Thank God!)
About to run out of battery power…good for you! LOL 🙂