We see horrific things on the news every day. There are shootings at malls and theaters, terrorist attacks,and even natural disasters.
We hear about them, we watch the news for a couple of days, maybe we even write a check for a disaster relief fund, or charity.
They affect us in the moment. We can relate to them, indirectly of course because we aren’t specifically involved with them, then life gets in our way, we get busy and back to the day-to-day things which affect us directly.
But people who are directly affected can’t do that. Their normal changes and sometimes very dramatically. Just as “pink is the new black” they have to learn to find a new normal.
How do you find a new normal, when your child, spouse, parent, sibling, or loved one is taken from you in a senseless act of violence?
Newtown is a small town (population around 2,000) nestled in the rolling hills of southwest Connecticut. In terms of wealth, it’s fairly affluent (for today’s economy) with family income ranging over $100,000. Having visited it myself once, I can say it’s a pretty nice little town.
Newtown is about an hour and twenty minutes away from where I live, yet I feel like it happened in my backyard.
This shooting affected me because first and foremost I am a mother, and a grandmother. My grandson will be five in February and next September he will be going to school.
Quite frankly, I’m terrified by this.
I’m terrified to think that someone can walk in and steal the lives and innocence from our children in a matter of seconds.
I’m terrified to think of the new safety measures which will more than likely be put into place to keep him safe. Will he have to walk through a metal detector to get to school? Will there be armed guards at the doors? How will these measures numb him and other children to the violence that will continue in this world?
It’s not very often that my children see or hear me cry. If you asked them, I think they would tell you that I’m a strong woman. They are 33, 33 and 26 and they can probably count on one hand the times they’ve seen me cry.
My grandchildren go to daycare about a mile down the street from where I work. Yesterday at 4:00 pm my daughter had a phone call, with my voice breaking I asked her to bring my grandchildren by on their way home so I could give them a little hug.
We had movie tickets to go see The Hobbit last night, I tucked my pepper blaster into my purse and every few minutes pulled my eyes away from the movie to skim the crowd for signs of trouble.
Is this my new normal? Has your normal changed?
It’s unthinkable, but yes. That is most likely your new normal. Just like after being a teacher for 30 years, having a lockdown drill twice a month became the new normal in my 3rd grade classroom.
Hope it’s not your new normal for long. Such a small community is going to take a long time to recover from this.
such a shame that this will be alot of our new normals. god bless the familys any everyone involved. thanks for this post.
Jodi, I don’t know what normal is anymore. It seems like people are going nuts, some animals I know are losing it, and mother nature is on some kind of vendetta. Scary things are afoot. I’m not an over the top end of the world person (Y2K didn’t scare me at all) but over the past year I have begun to wonder about that Mayan calendar. A lot. 🙁
As someone who never had a key to the house she grew up in because she never needed one – the door was never locked – this “new normal” is frightening and sad. I remember going to the airport to greet friends at the gate with a bottle of champagne…try that now and Homeland Security will have you hauled away (without your shoes on)
Without stating my age, let’s just say that I’ve witnessed many changes in the way we live in America and I can’t say I’m happy about all of them. The free flow of knowledge and the ability to connect with others all over the world that the internet has provided us is wonderful, but sometimes I wonder if it’s fostered a culture of social isolation that engenders the increased personal violence we seem to be witnessing. I have no answers…only questions…on this day of mourning for all Americans
Really sad that we have to witness these acts of violence.
Sadly we don’t learn from it, our government will find and enforce a new security measure that would make us feel like hostages in our own land.
They keep treating like kids, don’t allow us to drink till we are 21 and yet let us play with guns.
Will they attack the core problem? Perhaps a debate will be opened and then there will be those clinging to the Second Amendment, talking about “rights”, gun ownership is not a civil right nor a human right, I’m not even suggesting guns should be ban, because then you would create a black market and matters worse, but a tight control is necessary.
Otherwise this will be part of the statistics.
Sorry for the rant and for getting political, but this is sickening.
Sadly, it might be the new normal for all of us. What a sick world it has become.
I teach PreK in a large school district, and yesterday was our last day until after winter break. We have Code Red drills, fire drills, tornado drills, evacuation drills and safety talks about a variety of things. I think we will always have to be vigilant, but I also think that this tragedy has the potential to be a very teachable moment. There are a lot of discussions that need to happen in our society, not just about gun control, but about why it’s much easier to get a gun than to get help for those with mental illness. We also need to think about why we as a society glorify violence. It’s everywhere, and we expose our children to it on a daily basis through TV, video games, movies, sports, music and a host of other sources. Until we’re all willing to turn the violence off, we’re condoning it.
Hey Sampson, Hey Delilah, Jetty here. Hi Miss Jodi.
From Mom: Jodi, I understand your request to hug the grandchildren and hold loved ones close. Yes, you adjust to the “new Normal” … unfortunately… Veterans and their families experience this sad phenomenon along with those families dealing with a loved ones catastrophic accident or illness.
I fall into the last category. I remember sitting in ICU for 2 weeks when I was 25 wondering how people could laugh, watch tv, tell jokes, go to work, pay bills, carpool, go clubbing, etc… when my mother was lying in a coma and I had to decide whether to pull the plug. (I did, she lived, however is brain injured going on 25 years now.) I am an only child and a comatose mother became my New Normal… And then… as you said, life goes on and now I’m one of “those people” who go to work, pay bills, watch tv, donate to the funds, say prayers for those suffering the latest horrible tragedy…
It’s terrible. Just terrible. As a primary school teacher myself I have thought about what I would do were I in a position where the kids in my care were in danger. To be honest though, I don’t really HAVE to think about it because I already know. I also feel very fortunate that I am unlikely to be in such a position as those in Newton found themselves. My thoughts are with all those affected by this awful act. 🙁
I feel like we are living in the Twilight Zone – very eerie place we are in.
I hope the horrible incident makes people do some considering of the way kids are raised these days with a total disregard for the value of life. I have said it before and I say it again, that we have raised a whole generation that have no sense of anything larger than themselves and do not value life. It is easy to blame a gun, but I see it as much deeper than that. I hope the politicians don’t fall back on their predictable reaction of “ban the guns”. I think it ought to be pretty clear by now that the “government” cannot protect its citizens from someone bent on carrying out evil deeds. I don’t care how many bans they put into place. I have thoughts on what would be effective, but now is not the time.
I am guessing that Friday was a hard day for you with the horrible incident happening so close to home. I thought about you as I heard the news. Hope you were able to enjoy the movie.
I know a little of what you mean. I was in high school during the shootings at Columbine. It felt so far away that I didn’t worry too much. However, not too long after that horrific event there was another school shooting. This one took place in a small town about an hour away from my city. A small town in Canada I never would have expected to experience such violence, let alone in a high school. Everything changed for me that day and suddenly I was afraid. We all were. It reminded me that it can happen anywhere. Even in a small prairie town in Southern Alberta.