We’re having a cookout on Saturday. It’s actually our Easter dinner. You may recall I was in Florida on Easter, so I decided our family gathering would be a cookout.
I got a text last night from my cousin who asked, “Can my boyfriend bring his dog? He’s a good dog as cool as Sampson, you will love him. You will want to blog about him.”
My immediate response was yes! Of course, all dogs are welcome at my house.
Then I started to think of the logistics of it.
- People will be coming and going. Some people can only make it early in the afternoon and some can’t make it til later. I figure this will go down in two waves. The early crew and the late crew.
- Hubby and I will be busy, he will be cooking and I will be monitoring the food to make sure Delilah does not eat it.
- We will not be able to watch the dogs or monitor their meeting as closely as we would like.
- My friend’s dog is a 120 pound Bull Mastiff…..I picture him like this:
Photo courtesy of http://dogbreedinformations.com
- Sampson can get snarky with male dogs, especially those that are bigger than he is.
- Little children will be running about.
I started to get a feeling. Not one I could put my finger on, just a feeling way down in the pit of my stomach. I thought back to the party I was at where I was the only one sober enough to drive the hysterical mother and her sobbing son to the emergency room so he could get his ear sewn back on after being bitten by a dog.
I sent my cousin a text: “I’ve been thinking about the dogs. I hope you understand, Sampson can get snarky with other dogs especially males that are bigger than he is. I’m concerned that Hubby and I won’t be able to keep an eye on him like we would want to and with the little ones around it makes me a bit nervous. Could we wait on this? Hubby and I can have you, H and his dog over when it is just us and we can see how Sampson does. Sorry to be such a nervous Nellie…..if the grand kids weren’t going to be there it would be entirely different. I will tell you a story on Saturday that is weighing heavy on my heart and guiding me with this decision.”
She understood of course. If she didn’t she wouldn’t be one of my oldest and dearest friends. And I don’t mean I wouldn’t speak to her, what I mean is she knows me and she knows my heart and my love for animals and she knows I wouldn’t make this decision lightly.
She said her boyfriend won’t come without his dog, which makes me sad but I understand.
Just as I have to do what I feel is right for my dog so he succeeds, her boyfriend feels he must do what is right for his dog.
What do you think? In a situation such as I just described, would you have someone bring their dog if your dog(s) had never met them before?
Nope, you did the right thing. Those of us who LOVE to make everyone happy, and I strongly believe that would describe you as well, have to learn that sometimes we just have to what we believe is right. AND that it is OK if others decide to opt out. WAY too stressful and busy a situation to be introducing new dogs to the mix. There will be other times. 😀 xoxo
You did the right thing, and your friend understood your reasons. Being a responsible pet owner is part and parcel of owning a dog, just as your friend’s boyfriend has his reasons to. There will be other times to get together.
I think YOU and your furend’s BoFurend BOTH did the RIGHT thingys. I give you Both an A+ fur putting your dogs FURST.
I think you did the right thing. Its odd to me that a person would turn down a barbecue because they cannot take their dog. So that person will never go to a dinner where he can’t take his dog?
That story about the other party was too much. Sometimes people just do not think. Children should never be left unattended with dogs.
Yeah, your cousin needs to reconsider her choice of boy friends. Insisting on bringing a dog that size to a strange home doesn’t show much judgment or character. And this is from a person who likes dogs more than I like a lot of people.
I think you did the right thing – you should always go with your instincts 🙂 It’s unfortunate that he won’t come without his dog . . obviously, he can’t bring his dog everywhere that he goes, so he is being a little bit of a pill 🙁
You did the right and best thing!! Now go have a glass of wine 🙂 and relax !!
I agree 100% with your decision. I’ve made the same, and with much MUCH smaller dogs.
Sounds like a smart decision to ME!
You did the right thing Jodi. The dogs would likely be excited by the people and smell of food and one altercation might ruin the party. Safety first.
I think under the circumstances (not knowing) that they would get along, you made the right choice..And you made it with all parties best interest.. love ya Jodi
First of all, I agree a hundred percent. Having the couple come over for a small supervised get together is a great idea, but with a crowd of people and no one to be on top of watching the dogs? Forget it. It will be enough stress keeping an eye on Delilah around the food. (Toby has taught me that!)
Secondly, unless they have to travel and board their dog, (I’m not sure how far they’re coming from), I think its rude that the boyfriend would refuse to come without his dog. I would never expect to go to a gathering and bring my dog, even with family. On the other hand, I could understand not wanting to board my dog just for a getogether….
I too think you made the right decision based on the event and your own dogs. I too would have probably asked them not to. Luna is my picky dog when it comes to other dogs, and that is just how it is. We work on it tons, trust me, but why add the extra stress when it is supposed to be about family and friends, not their dogs. Plus you have to keep in mind he is not just any small or medium sized dog but a big 120lb dog, he probably is lovely but some people just can’t handle big dogs around them. I have converted some of the Mr.s side of the family to loving my dogs as they have seen them since they were puppies and I spend half my time making sure they behave… but it is nice when we can leave them home too so I can actually fully enjoy my visit. I always respect people’s wishes and sometimes that means my dogs don’t even get to come inside the house, but have to be in their yard or garage.
I hope you have a lovely get together
Anna
http://www.akginspiration.com
Sorry but that’s just ridiculous bwaaaaaa “I won’t go without my dog” sounds pretty childish… does he take the dog to work with him, to visit someone in a hospital, etc? When it’s not appropriate the dog has to stay home. Duh! Winning! We had a company [family] picnic in a park once which I organized, and 2 people decided to bring their dogs without checking first. The dogs immediately hated eachother, having never previously met, and there was a big issue, growling snapping hysterical barking. This went on for over an hour. One of the dogs then snapped at one of the little kids so then there was crying, too! It was really inappropriate and I finally had to ask them to take the dogs home or at the very least put them in [shaded] cars under trees. The purpose of the picnic was for new people to mingle and get to know/be known by everyone else. One of the dog owners was new and she then chose to walk the dog around the park for a couple hours rather than take the dog home & ‘be welcomed’ into our fold. These were 2 self-centered bitches and I’m not talking about the dogs! [Neither one works here anymore lol!] I love dogs and I take my dogs where they are Welcome, but I don’t force anyone to accept my bringing them somewhere! You definitely made the right decision Jodi.
I think you made the right decision, I dont allow dogs over for the first time unless I am able to focus all my attention on the greeting because it can go bad, ive had to break up dog fights and it shakes me to the core. Now that Haylie is an only dog I have to start having some play dates with family dogs so that she can go with us overnight to the lakehouse and stuff but I would never ask my aunt and uncle if I could bring her over for the first time when there is a party.
Hi Jodi,
I think it’s always best to take the cautious route and you had some safety concerns – I do think it’s a shame that the boyfriend AND the Dog won’t get to enjoy the yummy BBQ, but maybe next time 🙂
Have fun,
Your pal Snoopy 🙂
Discretion is ALWAYS the better part of valor.
I think your take on it (you’re doing what you have to do for your dog and he’s doing what he feels he needs to for his) is the best way to approach it. Not knowing why the boyfriend won’t leave his dog, I am hesitant to comment on that. There could be any number of reasons but not knowing them, assuming he’s just being rude seems, well, rude.
Let’s put it this way, if I know a thunderstorm is coming, I can’t leave Bella alone and would have to bow out of a party invite that did not include her unless I wanted to come home to a destroyed house and dog. (Of course I’d have to bow out anyway unless the party was occurring outside of the storm range but that’s a different story….)
I do think you did the right thing in not allowing the dog. Perhaps sometime in the near future you can have your cousin bring her boyfriend and his dog over to meet you and Sampson so the next time there is a big family gathering, you’ll know how the dogs react to each other? But I agree, until you know for sure, it is best not to mix two big unfamiliar dogs in a place where there will be young people and not enough oversight for the introduction of the dogs.
Better safe than sorry. I think you made the right decision.
We’re lucky that Felix is only reactive when on leash and that if things do go south, we have a sound proofed basement where he can go to cool off. We’ve had incredible luck. That being said, no one knows your dogs better than you and if you were nervous, there is a good reason. You can’t take chances, especially with little ones around.