I have a theory and it goes like this. Dogs have lived with humans for so long, they’ve begun to think like us.
Hear me out.
Men
In general I think most women will agree that men think with a certain part of their anatomy. Come on you’ve heard the saying, “Think with your big head and not with your little one.”
You’ve probably all known a man in your life who deals with a woman just not right for him. When you question him or encourage him to move along you find out that he’s really hanging around for the little somethin, somethin that he’s been getting.
When they are not thinking with their little heads, they are logical thinkers, linear even. Let me think this through, if I do this then this will happen and so on and so forth.
Women
Women think with their hearts. When they fall in love, they’re in for the long haul, it takes a lot to break the love of a woman. After all, the heart wants what the heart wants and there is no denying the heart. When you question your woman friend who’s in a bad relationship, undoubtedly you will get “But I love him.”
The different thought process of men and women holds true during an argument. The man is thinking, I should just give in and then we can have make-up sex, while the woman is thinking, we have to talk this thru so my heart stops hurting.
Children
Children think with their souls, they are so pure and innocent and most don’t know about being bad until we teach them. No Johnny, that was a bad thing to hit the cat. “Ahh, what is this bad that you speak of? Tell me more…”
But what does that have to do with dogs?
Ah, I’m glad you asked.
Dogs
They are like men in the fact that they think logically. Hmm if I plop my butt on the ground when she tells me to sit, I get a treat.
Most of them aren’t opposed to a little humping either. 🙂
Dogs are like women because they love with their whole heart. They love so unconditionally and want so desperately to please us, which is one of the reasons they have been our companions for so many years.
They are like children because their souls are pure and really haven’t known evil until we introduced it to them. Seriously, until man got involved there was no such thing as a bad dog.
Delilah
Delilah thinks with her stomach.
I. Kid. You. Not.
This dog is so obsessed with food that I’m afraid I am going to have to find a different way to train her. Her “Gotcha Day” is coming up at the end of next month. On that day we will celebrate five years.
Five years and I still haven’t been able to teach her to wait while I prepare her meals.
I walk into the kitchen and pull out their food bowls and she goes wild. She is jumping, running and barking.
Oh the barking.
It. Drives. Me. To. Drink. Yes, many nights I pour myself a shot of Tequila while I am waiting for her to settle down.
(I kid.) But now that I think of it….
I digress.
I’ve tried ignoring her with no results.
I’ve tried looking at her and this works for a few seconds. Then she is up on her feet again. If she does sit, she is usually very vocal, barking or whining as if that could actually make me hurry up. (Ok, it might, if I thought it would shut her up, but I refuse to give in.)
Meanwhile, the Golden Boy is sitting where he has been told to sit and patiently waiting while Delilah and I (or Hubby) do this crazy, mosh-pit dance.
The last couple of days I’ve taken to ignoring her completely and just feeding Sampson, and then Bob, and then Sampson’s second course. All the while Delilah is standing there looking at me, tail wagging in anticipation.
Hubby likes to use the intimidation method (which I hate) and stand in front of her with his hands on his hips. I recently said, “I don’t want you intimidating her like that” and he said, “I”m not intimidating her, I’m blocking her.”
Ooops, I guess Hubby’s thinking with his big head because if he was thinking with the little one he’d know he’s not scoring any points with me on this one.
Sometimes I will ask, “Do you want to go in your crate?” She understands this enough to settle down and truthfully I could just put her in the crate when it was time to prepare her meals and just let her out when I was ready for her.
Training
She is equally as difficult when I try to use the clicker and food. She is so focused on the food in my hand, that she absolutely cannot comprehend what I want her to do.
I’m. Not. Kidding.
I left a comment on a blog once where I asked, what do you do if the dog is too focused on the food. The author suggested using food with lesser value.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was using a green bean.
This is the part where I throw it out to you. Would you simply accept the fact that Delilah will never be able to sit quietly while her meals are being prepared and just put her in her crate, or would you try a different method of training?
I’m all ears.
And just for the record, tonight when we tried to get her antics on video, she sat like a perfect dog.
I think you should hire a camera crew to follow her around during all her waking hours. Thus assuring perfect behavior.
And making you look as if you are making the whole thing up.
Now there’s a perfect solution. Maybe I could get my own reality show…..”Life with Delilah” lol
what about rewarding with play instead? like, “Ok, you did good, now we can do some tug-of-war!” other htan that, just don’t stress too much about it – she’s a great dog, and some things just take a lot of time.
That is a great idea Lexy, I’m willing to give anything a try!!
I usually put my dogs outside while I get their food ready. Everyone gets fed in the same spot every day so I just put all the bowls in the appropriate places (in my garage) and open the door to the backyard and STAND BACK! Even the newbies learn very quickly which bowl is there’s. The only time there’s a problem is if I get a new ‘slow eater’. I have to feed him separately or the others will finish the pokey one’s meal.
When we first got her Sampson was the slow eater. Pick at it here, pick at it there. Now he eats his up almost as quickly as she does (he loves the raw!) We do feed them in separate areas, but since there is only two it is pretty easy to manage.
Wow, so how many dogs do you have?
Hee hee. This made me laugh.
Obviously, owning the most perfectly behaved dog in the history of perfectly behaved dogs, I would be well placed to give you SOOOO much advice, but I’d hate to cause you embarassment. I write this, apprehensive about going downstairs to see whether my washing has been allowed to remain on the line long enough to stop dripping. Sigh.
Having said that, Flo is pretty good when I’m getting her food ready, though she’s often outside because she usually just stays out there after our walks, drying off until dinner. Have you tried putting Delilah’s food bowl away again as soon as she starts jumping around and then bringing it out when she settles down and does the right thing?
🙂
Thank you. I had it in mind for a humorous post, but it seems like it failed! LOL
I will keep that idea in mind because I had never thought of it! Thank you. Seeing as we don’t know Delilah’s background it is possible she had to search for her own food for a period of time, which could be the reason for her obsession.
I feel your pain! When Koly was little, I actually had a heavy metal screw in loops embedded in my kitchen floor so that I could tie Koly down while I cooked and prepared meals. This chance to be near the action, but not close enough to be *in* the action gave him the chance to calm the eff down. Then, I would go to sit the bowl in front of him telling him to sit. If he lifted his ill behaved little butt of the ground, I would lift the bowl away, tell him to sit again and try it again. Our record was 23 attempts. So yeah, I totlly understand why mealtimes can bee chaos.
Screw loops? HOLY SNAP DRAGON BATMAN!! You are tough.:-)
I could never sit her food bowl down in front of her and not have her get up, she would lose her mind. She really does have an obsession with food.
It’s funny because she really is getting better about sitting while we are working in the kitchen, but when it comes to her food…..don’t stand in her way! LOL
After five years or so of trying to change her…I would say I’d accept it. At least for a while. Put her in her crate, and don’t give her the food until she’s sitting quiet in the crate….and try that for a very long time (I’m talking months here). Give both of yourselves a break (and poor Sampson who has to wait through all this) and then maybe try it again in the future. Sometimes doing nothing and managment is a good way to clear everyones heads. Just my 2 cents anyway… 🙂
Hmmmm – I wish I could help on this one, but whilst I like food, it’s not everything for me – if I’ve got Mischief on my mind it doesn’t matter what Mum tries to bribe me with, I’m not gonna fall for it!! Tee Hee
Good luck
Your pal Snoopy 🙂
Good one!! Isn’t always that way.
I am sorry I have no advise on your Delilah problem. I love this post and the break down of who thinks how. I noticed you did not describe how cats think – poor Bob gets left out. 🙂
CRAP!! I forgot the cat! LOL
Delilah goes crazy for a green bean? I’m afraid this is outside of my experience. To be honest I’m not that fussed with food. I eat to live! On the other hand, the little person loves his food and to be honest, behaves a little like Delilah at feeding times! 🙂
I am a bit behind, but I would just accept it and crate her if that calms her. One thing working with our field trainer has taught us is to just accept some things. Then if she eventually calms down try her out again.
I say this because Storm has been having a bit of a difficult time this year being in training. Last year she worked great for the trainer, but this year is not as clean. (I think she just needs to get used to being there again and being handled by someone different which is starting to happen.) Anyway, the trainer ran her this week and did not have her sit between retrieves. He said she seems to get nerved up when he asks for sit, (for unknown reasons), and he wants her to run marks enthusiastically. It is not required to sit between them so for right now, he is letting her stand and once she is back to enthusiastic retrieves, will work sit back in.
Each dog is different and sometimes a trainer has to adjust training, even for a dog that already knows the ropes.
Hi! I’m new here. “Found” you through Life With Arie. Saw the name Sampson and had to click on the link. I have a Samson and would love a Delilah 🙂
This post made me laugh. The man/woman/child overview. Hilarious. With regard to feeding time, I tend to agree with those above who recommend the crate route or the acceptance route. I only lean toward acceptance because I experienced a lengthy period of time when my dog showed little interest in food. The behavior worried me to no end. Things eventually normalized and frankly, when he does a happy dance at feeding time I embrace it and feel thankful that he is healthy and has a good appetite. Just my perspective.
Looking forward to getting to know you and your pack!
Hi Sherri!
Nice to ‘meet you’ and thank you for stopping by and commenting.
I’m glad the post made you laugh, that was certainly my intent when I wrote it. 🙂
To be truthful with you if the day came that Delilah had no interest in food, that would worry me to no end. Sampson used to be that way with his kibble. He would let it sit there all day and then at bed time would slowly eat what he wanted. Since we started the raw he does the happy dance now and I do embrace it. If she was just doing a little dance I wouldn’t care, but it’s literally like being in a mosh pit with her! LOL
I have a Follow-up Friday post every week, you will definitely see a response to this post!
Thanks again for stopping by. Leaving now to check out your blog….:-0
I love your theory! and couldn’t agree more with your analogies, and of course the fact that you drink a few shots of Tequilla to cope:)
Our puppy Honey/Mindy seems to have eating issues, she goes hysterical for a treat and if she doesn’t get it quickly enough so nips it sharply out of our fingers. I prefer shots of vodka, myself lol. She is getting better though, she responds to my sharp NO. Hubby Never corrects her so that’s more frustrating than the puppy nips…
OMG! I think I’m too busy laughing to know what to answer! Jodi – this was hilarious!
I generally prepare the dog’s food while they are outside, but when they are inside. I shoo them from the kitchen until the food is ready. To be honest though, I don’t have dogs as enthusiastic as Delilah. But, I have had dogs stay with me (when I was a pet sitter) and in those cases. I would have them sit outside the kitchen until the food was ready. Of course, it took teaching them this. If the crossed the threshold, I would turn and move forward until they backed up and sat just on the other side. If they got up and followed me again, I repeated the behavior. Pretty much all my clients learned that food came a lot slower if I had to keep guiding them out of the kitchen again.
Delilah looks and sounds like one of my favorite clients, Sasha. She is so like her. But, even she learned to sit outside the kitchen until food was ready. Miss Maggie, another client, would actually run to my office, throw open the baby gate and wait inside with her tail wagging. LOL! 🙂