I’m an Olympic junky. Winter, summer it doesn’t matter, when the Olympics are on I’m watching. I’ve been known to fall asleep with the TV on, wake up, watch some Olympics and go back to sleep.
I love cheering for my fellow countrymen, or cheering for the under dog and god knows I love an Olympian who has overcome adversity to get where they are.
To say I LOVE the Olympics would be an understatement.
Except for this year.
This year I can’t bring myself to watch the Olympics. What with the government sanctioned vigilante groups hunting and administering punishment to homosexuals, to the culling of over 7,000 stray dogs, to the un-prepared hotel rooms, to statements that there is no guarantee that our athletes are safe.
I just can’t do it.
Which is why I’m getting my fix from the Canine Olympics. A sporting event based on skills you may or may not be aware your dog even has! Long time readers may remember the first Canine Olympics I wrote about. You can read that here.
So without further ado, we’ll turn this post over to our Canine Commentators, ESPN’s own Chris Barkman and NBC’s John Maddog.
Chris: Well John here we are again at the 2nd annual Canine Olympics, we’ve got a couple of new events this year, so why don’t you do the honor and introduce our first event.
John: Delighted to be here Chris and so excited to see two veteran canine’s here representing their breed.
First up we have a beautiful Chocolate lab named Delilah. You may remember Delilah from the first Canine Olympics when she went in a little to far in the butt sniffing event.
Word has it her handler has been working her very hard and has enrolled her this year in the Long Dump.
Watch Delilah’s skill in this event, she squats, drops the first log and then without breaking the hunch, walks while she continues to drop logs. The uneducated may refer to this event as shit walking, BUT this is a true art form. This is basically a measured event beginning where the dog first drops and measuring to the last log launched before the dog breaks form.
If you take a look at our interactive screen our orange arrow is highlighting the final entry. We have to wait for a measurement from the judges, but this looks like a good fifty feet! She’s done it!! She’s captured the gold in this event, with a long dump of 52.4 feet!
Chris: Next up is the Path Block event. In this event, it is up to the canine to block the handler from proceeding down the path.
As you can see, Sampson a golden lab and a big beefy boy has effectively prevented his handler from progressing. You can see the foot prints leading towards the path, but there is no way to proceed without heading off the trail, which would result in a half point deduction to the handler.
Let’s see what the judges have to say, 9.8 great mark for a great performance. Looks like this dog is going to get gold as well!
What’s up next John?
John: This next event is new to the Canine Olympics and it’s called Sack-a-Mattack. In this event the dog, is required to get the leash to entwine on the poop bag, looping the leash at least once around the bag and see if they can replicate a ball sack.
The Chocolate Lab, Delilah is once again up, let’s take a peek in and see how she’s doing.
Ah, it’s a thing of beauty! She’s tightened the leash just enough and darted around a tree and split the bag perfectly. If I didn’t know better I’d ask the twins where Jimmy was.
She nailed this Sack-a Mattack! This dog is poetry in motion.
Over to you Chris.
Chris: Our last event of this Olympics is the Down-Hill Peeing event. Up once again is Sampson. He’s a really handsome guy.
He’s on the course, he’s sniffing, he’s found his mark!
Yup, he’s right on the money.
For the dogs of Sochi!
John: Double gold for Sampson!!
Have you been watching the Olympics, or are you like me getting your fix somewhere else?
Ha ha ha – so much more fun than the sordid affair in Russia! Delilah’s 50 yards takes the gold biscuit for us 😀
Mo wins the gold in the placement of pooh! You’d think he was looking at an apartment! He goes round and round and round! Then sometimes he decides he’s not ready, and walks away! It’s hilarious to watch!
LOL double gold! Pawsome take on the Olympics and it is sad the real one is so blighted by bad things. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly
I like your Olympics far better then those in Russia
Retro rover
Love your version of the Olympics. The official one? Not so much 🙁
Love those names, hilarious! We watch them on and off. I wouldn’t say we are fans or non fans, but if they are on we watch.
That is hysterical. Well done!
No Olympics for me. I hate watching delayed sporting events and I don’t need the back story of every athlete instead of the entire event. ho-hum I haven’t watched the last 4-5 Olympics.
That’s one TERRIFIC job!!!
LOL!!!!! What a great post!! I was laughing as I was reading all of it!!!
I guess my dogs are Olympians then as they are great at these things!!!!
I to am sickened with all the things happening at the Olympics…
My hubby tho, he is watching them and I must admit, I have caught a few when he has had them on 🙁
((Husky hugz))
Frum the pack at love is being owned by a husky
Sorry that you are not able to watch the PEEPS Olympics… They have been very much FABULOUS.
BUTT the Blogville MINI US lympics have been SUPER FUN…. Pawhaps you could try those… Sarge has a super post up today… and Molly the Wally has had Marvelous posts… and there have been MANY MANY others… all fun and free of any controversy.
LOL…love that! I love the olympics but can’t watch this year because we have no TV reception right now. But all the political bullshit is a bummer too.
Your take is certainly . . . interesting!
I’m watching the real Olympics. I thought pretty hard about it, then realized that most of the athletes *also* wish the games were in better circumstances. They don’t have any real choice–in most sports you get one chance to go to the games, and they’ve been working their whole lives for it. Their parents have made huge sacrifices to get them there. That deserves respect, even if I hate the circumstances.
Brilliant!! They are “the complete package” as the announcers always say.
I’m still watching the Olympics. I refuse to let the ugliness take away what i have enjoyed so much through the years. It’s almost like the forces of Evil are combining to take away what should be a joyous event for the world. But I still see inspiration in watching dedicated athletes.
I’m also still watching. I agree with Jessica – I love watching the athletes and want to support them. I love watching what their years of hard work and dedication lead up to for them. (Even if it’s not about winning. Like the Japanese women hockey players who have been in for years simply trying to score a goal – they finally got their first Olympic goal yesterday! So awesome to see them celebrate. Or the Canadian cross-country ski coach who jumped in to give a competitor from another country a ski to replace the one he broke when he fell. Love all that stuff and wouldn’t miss it.)
I love that we’ve sent gay athletes (e.g. Brian Boitano (sp?)) over to “represent”. I think watching helps support them.
I am not an Olympic lover at the best of times, but I am with you that this year is disgraceful. Your last picture sums it up well!
Holy Shit girl you made me crack up! Funny funny stuff!
Holy crap. I could not stop laughing.
brilliant, although in some of them my two would give you a run for the money!!
Your too funny Jodi. And you’re right, it DOES resemble a ball sack. LOL!
You are completely mad. As in insane. And I say that with more love in my heart than you can imagine. <3